


Here Comes the Sun

by flyy0ufools



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: (not between the Js), Alternate Universe, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bottom Jared, Happy Ending, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, Top Jensen, based on a movie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:17:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyy0ufools/pseuds/flyy0ufools
Summary: A long time ago, in a big city called New York, 22-year-old Jensen fell in love with 18-year-old Jared. Their love affair was cut short, but not before Jared ended up pregnant with twins. The pain of their breakup was too much to handle, so they decided to go their separate ways, Jared taking one daughter and Jensen the other. This is what happens when, thirteen years later, the twins meet at a summer program at NYU and decide that Jared and Jensen are meant to be together. Can they get their fathers the second chance they deserve? Or will a new boyfriend in Jared’s life mean it’s too late?(Told from alternating POVs of both Jared and Jensen.)Loosely based on the movieThe Parent Trap.





	1. The Switch

_May 29 th  
Paris, France_

Jared Padalecki smiled sadly as he pulled his daughter in for yet another hug. He ignored the bustle of people around him streaming through the Charles de Gaulle airport and tried not to focus on the fact that he wouldn’t see his little girl again for two whole months.

“ _Daaad_ ,” Lia whined, pulling back softly to break the hug. “You’re embarrassing me,” she whispered, and all of a sudden her 13 years didn’t seem so old to Jared.

“Sorry,” Jared said, ruffling her hair. He wasn’t sorry, and she knew that. “You sure you’ll be okay by yourself?” he asked for the hundredth time. Lia rolled her eyes and huffed, but she rubbed the back of her neck and Jared saw straight through to her nervousness. After all, that was the exact anxious tick that—

Nope. Jared was _not_ thinking about him.

“It’s a direct flight,” Lia answered, also for the hundredth time. “And the school has chaperones picking people up at the airport. Besides, I asked you if you wanted to come. _You’re_ the one that said no.”

It was Jared’s turn to huff. “You know I’d love to come, but this is one of the busiest times of the year for my work,” Jared said. It was the truth…it just wasn’t the _whole_ truth. Because he could’ve taken a few days away to fly with his daughter to New York. He just…he hadn’t set foot in the U.S. since she’d been born, and he was scared. Sure, there were over five hundred million people living in the country, which meant the likelihood of bumping into one specific person was less than zero. But still.

“I know, dad. Don’t worry about it. We’ll do something when I get back, yeah?”

“Definitely.” Jared took a deep breath, then pulled Lia towards him, unable to resist one last quick hug. “Okay, you got your ticket and your passport?” She nodded and held them up. “And you’ve got plenty of cash and the credit card I gave you?” Lia patted the side pocket of her backpack.

“All there. I triple checked.”

“Okay. Well, then…have a good flight, honey.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“And _have fun_! Call me anytime, even if it’s three a.m. here. Okay?”

“Promise.” She crossed her heart, squeezed Jared’s hand, then turned and headed towards the security line.

Jared watched her walk away, feeling his heart stutter. She looked so confident in her ripped jeans and scuffed Chucks (and god, she’d been _so mad_ when everyone had started buying them in white a few years ago but had stubbornly refused to give up her trademark shoes) and—oh god, Jared hadn’t even noticed what shirt she was wearing until just now. It was an old Rolling Stones concert tee, baggy and worn-in, the black washed to a faded gray over the years. The shirt was even older than she was. Jared knew that because he knew exactly where that shirt had come from: fourteen years ago, he had nabbed it as a sleep shirt from a dresser that now resided half a world away.

His heart started aching for a different reason, memories of stolen kisses and soft touches that felt like a lifetime ago. The only mementos he had from that time was that tee shirt, a photo ripped in half, and his daughter.

He watched until Lia made it through the security checkpoint, turning back one last time to wave at Jared before checking the signs hanging from the ceiling declaring the directions to the departure gates. She turned to the right and disappeared into a throng of people.

Jared was already counting down the days until his daughter returned home.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_July 31 st  
Manhattan, New York_

Jensen Ackles leaned up against his old Chevy pickup parked on the curb outside the NYU dorm. There were already kids pouring out the front doors, most of them looking to be a few years older than his daughter, but there were a few younger ones, too. He had driven up all the way from Kansas to New York City to surprise Emma. She’d been gone two long months at a summer program hosted by the Tisch School of the Arts, and Jensen couldn’t wait to see her.

And there she was, bouncing down the fronts steps and freezing when she caught sight of him.

“Dad! Wow. Hey!”

“Hey, Em! Surprised?” he asked with a grin. She smiled, eyes wide.

“Geez, yeah. Crap. Uh, I think I forgot something in my room. Be right back!” she called, already turning around and hurrying inside. Jensen frowned, confused at her behavior. Maybe he wasn’t the coolest dad, with his dirt-stained jeans and work boots and beat-up old truck, but they hadn’t seen each other for _two months_. And when he’d talked to Emma on the phone just yesterday, she’d seemed really excited to see him again.

Before he had time to get too worried, though, she was pounding back down the stairs and lunging towards him in a hug.

“I missed you so much!” she whispered softly, sounding a little choked up.

“Glad to hear it,” he chuckled, running one hand over her white-blonde hair.

He could never figure out where her hair color came from. His own hair was dirty blonde with a hint of red, and Ja—her other father’s had been a rich bronze color.

“So not that I’m not happy to see you,” she started, and Jensen released her from the hug, “but what are you doing here? I thought I’d be going on the school’s bus to the airport?”

“Change of plans.” Jensen looked over his daughter; her curls were extra wild today and her freckles stood out against her suntanned nose and cheeks. “I figured—hey, did you change?” he asked, distracted when he realized that she was definitely wearing a different shirt than when she’d come out the first time.

“Oh, uh. Um, yeah? Anyways, change of plans?” she urged, and Jensen shook his head. He loved Emma, but she definitely marched to the beat of her own drum. Not with the typical bright pink hair or smoking weed under the high school bleachers (thank god), but sometimes Jensen wondered what her brain looked like, if it was messy and disorganized and full of life and color. Exactly like Jared’s had been.

“Yeah, I sold the cattle a little earlier than expected so I thought I’d drive up here and you could show me around for a few days, and then maybe we could go somewhere with a beach.”

“Sounds awesome,” she grinned, tossing her duffel in the truck bed. “Let’s go!”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Driving the congested streets of Manhattan sucked, but Jensen figured it was more exciting than endlessly riding through the subway tunnels. At least he had plenty of time sitting at red lights to look around—to look up, up, _up_ at the impossibly tall buildings. The city was a far cry from the small town near his Kansas ranch, and it held an energy and life that the Flint Hills would never boast. It was heady and intoxicating, and that was without taking into account all the people. Specifically, all the crazy outfits people were wearing.

Coming from the Midwest—the boonies, no less—Jensen didn’t get much fancier than a button-down shirt and black jeans instead of his holey blue jeans. He’d expected hordes of boring suits and ambiguous all-black outfits, and instead there were colors and shapes and accessories that looked like they belonged in the pages of a magazine.

Like they belonged in Jared’s photos.

So yes, Jensen noticed. And he wondered, not for the first time since he’d started his drive up here, if Jared was somewhere on these streets, crouching and bending himself into an awkward pretzel just to get one brilliant shot.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_August 1 st  
Paris, France_

Jared was at his computer, only half-focusing while he edited his newest batch of photos. He’d been doing it so long that he could practically work in his sleep; besides, he prided himself on keeping it as original as possible, only touching up any colors that came out a bit skewed or brightening up any shadows that obscured his subjects.

Jared was a fashion photographer and blogger, though his business was definitely a professional one. Even over the last ten years, when many popular fashion bloggers had fallen by the wayside, his site was still going strong. He marked it down to consistent content, clear and vibrant photos, and minimal text. His readers really didn’t need a laboriously detailed play-by-play of his boring Tuesday to appreciate his photos.

His subjects were mainly average people he passed on the street. At first, asking random strangers if he could take their photos had been appropriately awkward, but over the years he got smoother. His blog also became more and more well-known in the fashion sphere, and now he handed out business cards with the web address on them so that his subjects knew just where their photo would be shown.

He also put a heavy focus on men, as so much fashion was focused on women. It was a niche that he’d buried into immediately, and it had done him well. It certainly didn’t hurt that he personally appreciated the male form quite a bit more than the female one, though it wasn’t like he’d actually done anything about that in, oh, _forever_.

But he’d wanted to get this new entry posted before heading to the airport to finally pick up Lia. It had been a long two months with her in New York, but Jared had gotten a lot of extra work done. He was able to schedule blog posts in advance so that the next few weeks, he and Lia could just hang out, maybe go on a little vacation.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“God, feels like it’s been forever!” Jared exclaimed, scooping his daughter into a hug.

“You have no idea,” Lia replied, her voice muffled against Jared’s shoulder.

“Here, let me look at you.” He held Lia at arm’s length and looked her up and down. “I swear, you’ve grown at least a foot,” he said.

“Dad, don’t be ridiculous!” Lia said. She’d lost the slight French accent she used to have—courtesy of growing up in France and usually only speaking English with Jared. It was replaced with a soft twang, and Jared sucked in a sharp breath when one specific memory washed through him.

_“Jare, don’t be ridiculous!” Jensen said fondly. His head was propped up on his hand, elbow bent on the hotel mattress as he gazed down at Jared. There was a glint of laughter in his green eyes and his freckles stood out proudly against his sun-pinked cheeks._

Freckles that Jared was starring at right now. They were smattered across Lia’s face, almost an exact replica of her other father’s.

“Dad, you okay?” And god, that lilt to her voice, so much like Jensen’s.

“Yeah, just. Your accent. It’s different,” he stammered.

“Oh, yeah. Right. Uh, well my roommate was from, um, Texas. Guess it rubbed off on me a bit.”

“Texas, huh?” Jared asked. Because that twang, the flattening of vowels and slight slurring of hard consonants was most definitely a Kansas drawl, not a Texas one.

Jared would know. He’d heard that voice in his dreams every night for the last thirteen years.

“Well, you’ll have to tell me all about her, okay? And everyone else you met. And what you did there. And—”

“Dad! Breathe,” Lia said with a grin. “Promise.” She crossed her heart, just like she always did when she promised Jared something, and Jared could breathe again.

He might never have Jensen, but he had their daughter.

Well, one of their daughters.

He wondered where Lia’s twin was right now.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_August 5 th  
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware_

Jensen could admit that both he and Emma were major beach bums. More than once he’d wondered why exactly he lived in the most beach-less state in the U.S.

 _Because it’s the opposite of New York City. It’s the opposite of Jared_ , his mind supplied, as if it was actually being helpful or something. And sure, he liked his ranch. The wide-open spaces let him breathe, even if sometimes he felt like he would choke on all that air.

Still, it was nice to lay out on the sand for days on end, only getting up to cool off in the waves or meander up to one of the beachside cafes or food trucks, Emma by his side for every minute of it.

“I wish we lived here,” she sighed one afternoon. Jensen quietly agreed. “I wonder if…” Emma trailed off, obviously lost in her own thoughts. She seemed to do that more often lately, quiet brooding where it used to be loud (and sometimes whiny) brooding, a softness to her voice that reminded Jensen of Jared’s excruciatingly perfected non-accent.

_“I thought only actors worried about that,” Jensen asked one day._

_“Nah. I mean, obviously I don’t have to speak when I’m modeling, but I’ve noticed that photographers seem more, I dunno, openly friendly without the accent.”_

_“That’s so weird.”_

_“That’s the industry, unfortunately,” Jared said, looking a little sad._

_“So why do you do it? You hate it.”_

_“I need money, Jen. And I like fashion…”_

_“But you hate_ modeling _,” Jensen pointed out. “What do you really want to do? If you didn’t have to worry about money or networking or, hell, talent?”_

 _“I dunno,” Jared said, eyes sparkling in a way that said he_ definitely _knew, he just didn’t trust Jensen quite enough yet to tell him something so personal._

_“Well whatever it is, I know you’ll get there.”_

_“Yeah? And how d’you know that?”_

_“Because you, Jared Padalecki, are one in a million.”_

“Dad?” Emma said, shaking Jensen’s shoulder and breaking him out of his reverie.

“Huh?”

“Whatcha thinking about?”

“No one. Nothing,” Jensen replied immediately.

“Suuuuure,” Emma drawled. “That was believable.” Jensen just blinked at her, and all he could see was that parts of her that came from Jared. The sarcasm and the smirks and those cat-like hazel eyes, so innocent even after all the shit Jared had gone through, shit he had admitted to Jensen while curled up in his arms late one night after a shoot that went horribly wrong.

“Y’know, you’re going to have to tell me about him someday,” Emma said pointedly.

“Him?”

“My other father.”

“Wha—who—I don’t—” Jensen sputtered.

“ _Dad_.”

Jensen promptly shut his mouth. He’d never hid his sexual orientation from his daughter, didn’t feel right about it, and it wasn’t exactly a secret that almost half the men out there carried a gene that allowed them to get pregnant. Plus, his daughter wasn’t stupid.

“And I found the picture,” she said, as if Jensen had said his thoughts out loud. Hell, maybe he had. He did that sometimes. Jared used to laugh at him about it, call him adorable and kiss his cheek and then behind his ear.

“You…the picture?” Jensen asked.

“The one in the back of my baby book,” Emma said. Jensen’s stomach lurched. That baby book hadn’t been just pictures of her, but also her twin. Luckily, Jensen had hid the few photos he had of both Emma and her sister together in his fireproof safe.

“Why don’t you ever talk about him?” she asked sadly.

_Because if I ever talked about him out loud, I think I might just break._

“It’s complicated, sweetie,” he said instead.

“Dad, you can’t keep me in the dark forever. God, I don’t even know if he’s alive!” Jensen swallowed thickly and thanked god that Jared had a public website that he updated regularly. But Jensen didn’t. Shit, what if Jared didn’t know if Jensen was alive? What if Jared didn’t even think of him at all?

“His name’s Jared,” Jensen finally said, voice scratchy. “And I loved him.”

“What happened, dad?” Her voice was soft again, and it tore Jensen apart.

“Life,” he answered bitterly.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_August 8 th  
Barcelona, Spain_

“Hola,” said a smooth deep voice behind Jared. He whipped around and took a step back from the (admittedly gorgeous) man invading his personal bubble. That was one thing Jared could never seem to get used to: Europeans had no sense of personal space.

“Hi,” Jared replied, not even trying to bother with his pitifully limited Spanish.

“Ah. English?” the guy asked.

“American, actually, by way of Paris,” Jared replied.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Mateo,” the guy said, holding out his hand for Jared to shake.

“Hi. Uh, Jared.”

“Well, Jared from Paris, I hope I’m not being too forward, but I noticed that you were alone and I hoped I could buy you a drink?”

“Actually, I’m here with my daughter.”

“But no boyfriend or husband?”

“No…”

Mateo smiled sweetly, and Jared couldn’t help but be a little dazzled. Mateo was tall—not as tall as Jared, but tall enough—and tanned bronze, with long, black hair and deep brown eyes.

“Dad? Who’s this?” Lia asked, interrupting Jared’s daze.

“Oh, uh, Lia, this is Mateo. Mateo, my daughter, Lia.”

“Very nice to me you, señorita,” Mateo said, taking Lia’s offered hand and kissing it lightly on the back. And okay, it was a little cheesy, but the fact that Mateo wasn’t intimidated by Jared having a daughter nor just brushing off Lia’s presence went a long way in Jared’s book.

“Um. You too,” Lia replied, withdrawing her hand and glancing at Jared. “You wanna go check out that concert now?” she asked pointedly.

“You mean the New Voices competition?” Mateo asked before Jared could answer.

“Yeah, actually,” Jared said.

“It is definitely worth seeing. I went last year.”

“Great! Then we should go, dad,” Lia said, making it clear by her tone that Mateo was not included in that ‘we’. Apparently, she was not nearly as enthralled with Mateo as Jared was. But he was hot and seemed nice so far, and Jared hadn’t been laid in literally _years_.

“Yeah. Um, thanks, Mateo. It was nice to meet you.”

“You too. Both of you,” he said. “And here. If you will be in town for a few days, I would love to show you some of the local attractions that you won’t find in a guidebook.” He pulled a pen from his pocket and snagged a cocktail napkin from the bar Jared was sitting at, jotting down his phone number and handing it over. “I hope to hear from you. Good night, Jared from Paris and Miss Lia.” Mateo offered a blinding smile and then slipped away, leaving Jared speechless with want for the first time in over a decade.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_August 26 th  
Council Grove, Kansas_

Jensen and Emma had ended up spending three days in New York and then another three weeks in Rehoboth Beach before heading home. It was strange to drive through their small town again, early afternoon on a Tuesday. Most of the adults were at work and school had started back up a week before. Jensen had caved almost immediately when Emma said that she was perfectly happy to continue homeschooling. Jensen worried a little bit that she wasn’t getting enough social interaction with kids her age. At least, he _had_ been worrying about it, except ever since the summer program had ended she’d been racking up the minutes on her cell phone talking with friends she’d made there, so Jensen figured another year of homeschooling wouldn’t do _too_ much damage.

She’d begged him to stay longer in Delaware, but Jensen had a neighbor coming by to check on the ranch every few days and he was feeling a bit guilty about that. Plus, even though they were well enough off, he had yet to find a money tree on their land.

So here they were, back in their sleepy hometown. Emma was quieter than usual and Jensen was already feeling too big for his skin, like he was missing something. More specifically, someone. Well, _two_ someones.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Emma crashed early that night and Jensen tried to sleep, but after watching his torturously slow clock tick towards one a.m., his restlessness got the better of him and he dragged his laptop from his desk to his bed, booting it up and immediately going to Jared’s blog.

So maybe he was a masochist, and maybe his heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces every time he scrolled through the photos, just imagining Jared behind the camera, joking with the photo’s subject and making them feel at ease. It was worth it to Jensen. It always would be.

He had almost a month’s worth of posts to look at, and halfway in his heart squeezed painfully. Because he was staring at the fifth photo of this guy—Mateo, according to the caption—over the course of two weeks. He obviously wasn’t a model, although he wasn’t exactly lacking in the looks department. But the way he was smiling at the camera—smiling at _the person behind_ the camera—well, Jensen knew that smile. He used to wear it whenever he looked at Jared.

There were two pictures of Mateo in Barcelona, obviously taken on different days, one in Venice, and two so far in Paris. One of those from Paris featured a girl, freckled cheeks and hair shining white in the bright Paris sun, and Jensen knew immediately that this was his other daughter.

She’d never been featured on Jared’s blog, and here she was standing with someone that wasn’t Jared. That wasn’t Jensen.

He slammed his laptop shut, his breaths coming short and fast and painful. He couldn’t get the image of his daughter out of his head, standing there in jeans that were mores holes than denim, her frizzy hair blown to one side probably from the wind, and an old shirt that was obviously Jared’s, a stupid Kansas City Royals tee that he’d bought specifically because Jensen was from Kansas.

God, he didn’t even know her name, and there she was standing next to Jared’s boyfriend, a smile pulling at her lips and her eyes squinting in the sun. She probably refused to wear sunglasses; it was a horrible habit that Emma had, one that Jensen had tried to break for years, not wanting her to damage her eyes.

“Fuck!” Jensen choked, pounding his fist into his mattress.

“Dad?” Emma asked from his doorway, sleep and concern twisting her features into a frown. “Wha’s wrong?”

“Nothing, sweetie. I’m okay,” he said. His voice betrayed him though, sounding like he’d swallowed a road’s worth of gravel.

“Doesn’t sound like it,” she said, shuffling into his room. She glanced at his laptop then back up at Jensen. Before Jensen could react, she was snatching his computer from the bed and opening it up. The lock screen popped up and Emma cursed softly. “Dammit.”

“Language, Emma,” Jensen said, more of a kneejerk reaction than anything. She just snorted and set his laptop back down.

Jensen slowly let out a sigh of relief; telling her about Jared was one thing, but her finding out that she had a secret twin? One whose name Jensen didn’t even know? He was pretty sure she would never forgive him. And he wouldn’t blame her one bit.

“You okay?” he asked her. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No, just hungry,” she answered.

“Lemme make you an omelet, yeah?” Jensen said, eager to get everything Jared-and-Mateo out of his head, even for just a few minutes.

“Sure. Thanks.” Jensen got up and met her at the door, and she pulled him into a hug. He huffed in surprise but wrapped his arms around her immediately.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” she whispered. It was so quiet that Jensen almost didn’t hear, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to. Whatever she meant by that, though, he hoped she was right. He just wasn’t sure how she could be when half of his heart had been missing for thirteen years, and he was pretty sure he was never going to get it back.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_August 31 st  
Paris, France_

The last month had been like a dream to Jared. He’d had no idea that, when he called Mateo the day after meeting him, that they’d be together—and back in Paris—three weeks later. Apparently Mateo was a bit of a nomad; his job was online, and it allowed him to move around whenever he got restless. Which was how he’d been able to come back to France with Jared and Lia. He’d found a long-stay AirBnB just few metro stops away from their own apartment.

He didn’t see Mateo every day, which was probably for the best. He still had some major hang-ups, and being smothered by his brand new boyfriend would’ve just made Jared push him away. But Mateo seemed to understand, or at the very least accept, Jared’s hesitancy. Which Jared had plenty of, especially when it came to sex.

It was pathetic, okay? He knew this. But the last person he’d been with was Jensen. That was more than thirteen fucking years ago, so to say he was nervous was a massive understatement. Thankfully, Mateo didn’t push; didn’t even ask why when Jared said he wanted to take things slow, just nodded and smiled and kissed Jared chastely.

He’d even been happy to pose a few times for Jared’s blog, and when they’d gotten back to Paris, Lia had jumped into one of the shots. Jared had been pleasantly surprised; up to then, she’d been a bit cold and distant with Mateo. And she’d never been in any photos that Jared had put online, but this time she’d been insistent about it. Whatever brought about the change of heart, Jared wasn’t quite sure. But he wasn’t worried. Not really.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“Y’know how we have a guest bedroom that hasn’t been used in, like, years?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I was wondering if one of my friends from this summer could come visit?”

Surprised, Jared looked up from his computer where he was sorting through dozens of photos. “Um, yeah, that’d be fine. Which one?”

“My roommate, actually,” Lia said, shuffling her feet and looking down. She sounded almost nervous.

“The one from Texas? Aren’t they in school already?” It had been awhile since Jared had graduated high school, but he knew that they usually started a month or two earlier than the schools in France did.

“Well, she’s homeschooled so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. And her, uh, parents already said it’d be okay.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fine. Her name’s Emma, right? And she’s your age?” Lia nodded. “Do I need to speak to her parents or anything?”

Jared knew he was pretty lax for a parent. Not that he didn’t care about Lia’s safety or security, but he wasn’t the kind of parent that felt the need to constantly chaperone his kid everywhere. After all, he’d grown up riding his bike around the neighborhood, out all day with his friends during summer breaks, and they didn’t even have cell phones with them at the time. He survived just fine, and he hated overbearing parents. Still, that was a lot different than a minor flying in from a different country to visit someone she’d just met three months earlier.

“Nah, her parents are cool. I’ll talk to them and give them your number and stuff just in case. But it should be fine.” She coughed and looked away, her hand rubbing the nape of her neck.

“Lia, why are you nervous? Is she really just a friend, or…?”

“Oh, _gross_! No, dad. No. It’s not like that. She’s like a sister to me.”

Jared gulped, dropping his eyes guiltily. Lia already had a sister, one she didn’t know about. One she probably never would. More and more Jared had been thinking they’d made a mistake when he and Jensen had split their daughters up, but at the time the idea of co-parenting had been too damn painful.

“Okay, okay,” he said. “Just asking.”

“So, it’s cool?”

“Sure, Lia. Just let me know the details. And she can’t stay too long, fashion week starts in a few weeks and—”

“Oh. Right. That. Um, okay. Well I doubt her parent would want her gone for that long anyways. Okay, I’ll go call her right now!”

“Lia, wait!” Jared called as she started out of the room. She turned and schooled her features, but Jared caught that mischievous look, the gleam in her eye that said she was planning something. “Uh. It’s like four a.m. in Texas right now.”

“Oh. Right. Um. Yeah. I’ll just…wait…for a few hours. Okay. You were working so I’m just gonna…” She hooked her thumb back towards the hallway and backed out of Jared’s office.

“Weirdo,” Jared muttered under his breath with a smile. Lia usually wasn’t as scatterbrained as Jared, but ever since she’d gotten back she’d seemed a little different. Not in a bad way. Just…well, Jared all of a sudden was seeing more and more of Jensen in her, everything from her habits to phrases she suddenly started using.

His musing was interrupted by his cell ringing, the display showing that Mateo was calling.

“Hey, Mateo,” Jared said. They hadn’t gotten together in a few days and Jared could really use some boyfriend time to take his mind off Jensen. He felt a little guilty, like he was using Mateo as a distraction, a way to mend his broken heart, but he did genuinely like the guy. Mateo was smart and funny and well-traveled. He was also very laid-back, which Jensen definitely hadn’t been. And if Jared sometimes missed that fiery passion? Well, he was the only one who needed to know.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_August 31 st  
Council Grove, Kansas_

“Emma, want some lunch?” Jensen called from the kitchen. When he got no answer, he laid the wooden cooking spoon across the top of the boiling pot of pasta and silently padded down the hallway to Emma’s room. The door was ajar and he was just about to knock when he heard her whispering furiously to someone one the phone. She was sitting on her bed but her back was turned towards the door, and Jensen couldn’t keep himself from listening to her side of the conversation. God help him, he tried not to be the kind of parent who spied on his child, but the upset whispering was almost frantic, and Jensen only had so much willpower.

“Shit! Are you serious? This is so not good, E. We gotta do something!” A few moments of silence passed, and Emma was talking again. “I dunno! Crap, I don’t know! Is there a way to get them together? … Okay. I mean, what if we came there? … I have no idea. … No, I don’t think so. … No, look, E. He finally told me some stuff when we were in Delaware, and…god. It was bad. I think something happened. … Yeah. … Has he…? … Okay. Well, what if I just, you know, told him the truth? … Yeah, I see. … Wait, you think that would work better? If I just came there? He’d be furious, but… Okay. … Yeah. I’ll let you know. Okay, bye.”

Jensen cleared his throat and Emma whipped around, almost falling off her bed.

“So, you planning a trip?” Jensen asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. Emma paled while two pink spots high on her cheeks appeared. It was a painful reminder of the last time he seen Jared, that exact look on Jared’s face as they split up their newborn daughters and went their separate ways.

“D-dad, hey,” she stuttered.

“Spill, Emma,” Jensen demanded.

“We need to go to Paris, _immediately_ ,” she blurted out, then slapped a hand over her mouth.

“ _What_? Why?”

“Can you just trust me?” she asked desperately.

“Em, this is not a weekend trip to Kansas City. You’re talking about going to _France_. What…what’s going on?”

“Oh god, don’t hate me, please,” she begged, rolling off her bed and coming to stand in front of Jensen. “My name is Lia and we need to go to Paris because my dad— _Jared_ —is falling in love with someone else and, god, _he should be with you_.”

Jensen stood frozen to the spot. He was pretty sure his jaw was somewhere on the floor at his feet, and Emma—no, _not_ Emma—was crying softly in front of him.

“Ca—” he coughed and tried again. “Can you repeat that?”

“Emma is in Paris right now with Jared. I’m Lia. Your other daughter. And we need to go to Paris before my dad falls in love with this stupid Mateo guy and you—” She was cut off when Jensen pulled her into a rib-breaking hug.

“Lia?” he asked, eyes filling with tears. “Your name’s Lia? And you…my daughter…holy shit,” he whispered brokenly, holding on tighter.

“Hi, daddy,” she said, and suddenly Jensen couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it before. Her voice, the weird lilt to some of her words that definitely wasn’t Emma’s usual twang; the way she gestured almost comically with her hands when she got excited about something, exactly like Jared used to; hell, she’d worn sunglasses every freaking day at the beach in Delaware. And that photo on Jared’s website, with Emma-not-Lia squinting stubbornly against the sun…

“Oh my god,” he said, burying his face in her hair. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I’m here,” she said, squeezing him just as tight. “But Jen…dad. We gotta…please. We _have_ go to France. You and dad belong together. And I don’t want you to wait until it’s too late. Don’t you think thirteen years is long enough?”

“I don’t know if he’ll want to see me,” Jensen admitted, and Lia pulled out of the hug and made her way to the closet.

“Trust me,” she said as she dug through her clothes, “he still loves you.” She pulled out a shirt and shook it out before turning and showing it to Jensen.

He gasped and stumbled forward, touching the shirt lightly. It was his old Stones tee, one of his favorites and he hadn’t seen it in forever. He’d thought he’d just lost it but apparently…

“He’s had it this whole time. In the bottom drawer of his dresser. This was folded up inside it,” Lia said, producing an old photo. It was ripped on one side, and in the photo was a 22-year-old Jensen, face turned towards where the rip was and smiling like Jensen hadn’t smiled in forever. The smile was full of adoration and love for the man sitting next to him, ripped away from him as quickly as the photo of them had been ripped in half.

“Fuck,” he whispered, taking the photo from Lia and running his finger along the ragged edge. He finally looked up, suddenly urgent as his heart filled with burning need. “We’ve gotta get to France _right now_.”


	2. Whirlwind Romance

_August 31 st  
American Airlines Flight 2642, KC to Charlotte/Durham to Paris_

Two last-minute tickets from Kansas City to Paris were not cheap, and Jensen’s healthy bank account definitely took a hit. Usually, he liked to make a plan, to work out the details and prepare for any problems or unexpected situations that could possibly arise.

He threw all of that out. He was online and booking one-way flights for them minutes later, then they were both hastily packing bags and rushing towards Jensen’s truck. He gunned it Kansas City, not proud of how far over the speed limit he went but glad that he managed not to get pulled over and ticketed.

They made it through the gates just as the final boarding call was being announced, and Jensen took what felt like his first breath since the moment Lia had confessed everything.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“Tell me more about it,” Lia said when they were halfway over the Atlantic. She’d been quiet for hours, and Jensen had thought she was asleep. The cabin was dark, the lights off so that the passengers could sleep. Lia was leaning against the window, looking out into the darkness, using her hoodie as a pillow. Jensen had draped his own jacket over her as a makeshift blanket two hours ago.

“More about what?” he asked, even though he knew exactly what she was talking about.

“You and dad. How you met, how long you were together…” The _why you broke up_ was left unsaid, but it somehow rang loudly in the ensuing silence. Jensen wasn’t sure if he was ready to voice all of the thoughts and memories that had been rolling like thunder through his mind for the last thirteen years. But…maybe it was time to try. So he took a deep breath and started at the beginning.

“Fourteen years ago, I had just moved to New York. Got into the Fine Arts program at NYU, and it was a huge deal. Got a TA position, which meant my tuition was paid for and I received a monthly stipend. I’d only been there about two weeks when I met Jared...”

_It was an off-campus party, a friend of a friend of a friend was holding a weekend-long rager. Jensen’s roommate, Mitch, had convinced him to go. Jensen still felt pretty out of place, having done his undergrad studies in Lawrence, at the University of Kansas. It wasn’t enough to prepare him for the craziness that was Manhattan, but he was pretty sure nothing would have been enough._

_Still, if he was going to be here for the next three years, he wanted to make a few friends. He knew he’d have to push past his shyness, and he figured the best way to do that was with alcohol. So he tagged along with Mitch and a few others from the art program._

_When they got there, the party was in full swing, and Jensen could tell that it wasn’t just students who’d shown up. There was a DJ playing and a freaking hired bartender standing on one side of the kitchen island, tossing together drinks in a flurry of pouring and shaking._

_“Ho-_ ly _shit,” Jensen whistled, impressed with the sight before him. He made a beeline towards the makeshift bar, ordering a beer and two shots of whiskey._

_“Don’t get too wasted,” came a voice from beside him. Jensen looked to his left and all he could do was stare at the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on. “Sorry,” the kid continued, blushing slightly and holding a plastic cup in front of his lips to hide his smirk. “It’s just, you look kind of green for this type of party, and Matt is notorious for fucking with people who get blackout wasted in his apartment.”_

_“Um.” Jensen gulped and tried to find something to say that wasn’t ‘Holy fuck, hottest guy ever is talking to me!’_

_“Nothing that would, y’know, get him arrested. Just shit like bra in the freezer or a hand in warm water to make you piss yourself. Very middle school sleepover-type stuff, but embarrassing nonetheless.”_

_Jensen just nodded absently and took a shot, staring unblinkingly as the amused expression on the kid’s face. It wasn’t until after the burn of whiskey had faded from his throat that he realized why the guy was trying so hard not to laugh. Hell, he’d_ just _warned Jensen not to get too drunk and here Jensen was throwing back straight whiskey like it was going out of style._

_“I’m Jensen,” he said stupidly. The guy just grinned, though, cheeks turning a pretty pink as he looked towards the floor, suddenly bashful._

_“Jared,” he replied before taking a small sip of whatever was in his cup._

_“What’d you mean, I look green?” Jensen blurted out. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously, silently begging his mouth not to open again until his brain had properly though through what words should come out._

_Jared shrugged. “You just look, I dunno. Not jaded. Spend enough time in this city, everyone gets a little bit cynical. It’s like you haven’t developed that edge yet.”_

_“Oh. That’s…sorry.”_

_“No, don’t apologize. It’s nice. Refreshing, actually.”_

_“Okay. That’s good, I guess. Um. So would you count yourself as among the jaded masses?” Jensen asked, figuratively patting himself on the back for stringing together a complete sentence that was beyond a third-grade level._

_“Well, I grew up here and I’m kinda, uh, a professional model. So I’ve got a double whammy of cynicism, for sure.”_

_“Sorry to hear that. Although you did go out of your way to warn this poor, clueless schmuck not to get trashed here, so maybe you’re not as far gone as you think.” Jensen smiled and winked, and Jared blushed again but returned his grin._

_“Maybe I’ll need some convincing,” he said._

_“Maybe I’m good at that kind of thing,” Jensen replied._

_“Maybe I wanna get out of here,” Jared said._

_“Maybe I’ll come with you.”_

_Seemingly done with their banter, Jared tossed his half-full drink in the trash, then took Jensen’s beer and did the same. He grabbed Jensen’s hand and weaved through the partygoers back towards the front door, slipping out without anyone noticing them._

_In the alleyway beside the apartment building, Jensen pushed Jared up against the wall and got his first taste of the enigmatic, gorgeous boy. Jensen couldn’t wait to piece together the puzzle._

_“As hot as this is,” Jared panted, “I’d rather not be arrested for public indecency.”_

_“God,” Jensen groaned at the thought. “It’d be worth it, though. You’d be worth it.”_

_“That’s sweet, Jen.” Jensen’s stomach fluttered at the nickname and he sucked at Jared’s pulse point, the sudden urge to mark his perfectly tanned skin burning through his veins. “B-but—oh, fuck! Jen! My…god, my apartment is like two blocks away. And it has a bed.”_

_Jensen weighed his options—Jared now, or Jared in five minutes, naked and spread out on a bed. The second option won by a landslide, and he regretfully pulled away from Jared a few inches._

_“Let’s go,” he growled, and Jared pushed himself off the wall of the building and plastered himself to Jensen’s side. Jensen wrapped his arm around Jared’s slim hips and slid his hand into the back pocket of Jared’s jeans._

_“Fuck,” Jared whimpered, steering them quickly down the sidewalk. Jensen didn’t bother watching where they were going; he trusted Jared to get them there, and he used the time to study every inch of the kid’s beautiful face. He leaned in and his lips ghosted over Jared’s ear._

_“I think I’m gonna fall in love with you,” he whispered hotly, causing Jared to moan, low and wanton._

_“I think I already have,” Jared whispered back. Jensen smiled victoriously._

_The next time Jensen blinked, they were in Jared’s apartment. It was small, the bedroom area separated from the living room by a few bookshelves instead of walls and a door._

_“I’d give you a tour, but it’s sort of idiot-proof,” Jared said, gesturing around the room that made up the small kitchen, living area, and bedroom. “Bathroom’s there,” he said, pointing towards the only door in the apartment besides the front door. “I have a killer balcony, though,” he said._

_“Maybe you can show it to me tomorrow morning,” Jensen rumbled, hoping his implication was obvious: he didn’t want this to be just a one-night stand. He wanted to experience every part of Jared, especially the sleep-rumpled, early morning part._

_“I think that can be arranged,” Jared replied. “Besides, right now I’m a little more interested in this.” He reached down and cupped Jensen’s hardness through his jeans, and Jensen's dick jumped at the contact._

_“Fuck yeah,” he breathed out, and went to work on the buttons of Jared’s silky green shirt. Jared started in on Jensen’s jeans, and after a minute of fumbling fingers and shaking hands, they were both naked._

_Jensen pushed Jared back towards the bed until he plopped down, ridiculously graceful. Jensen stepped back and looked his fill. Jared was lean, broad-shouldered and slim-waisted, his legs seemingly going for miles while his dick stood flushed and hard and drooling on his abs._

_“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he said, voice soft with reverence._

_“Shut up,” Jared said, looking away as that adorable blush once again stained his cheeks. This time, though, Jensen saw the pink work its way down his neck and across his chest, and it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever witnessed. Jensen wished he had his oil paints and a canvas nearby, wished he could capture this moment for eternity. And yet…there was something intoxicating, knowing that he was the only person who’d ever get to experience this exact moment in time with Jared._

_“Never,” Jensen replied. “I’ll never shut up about how goddamn gorgeous you are.”_

_“Like you’re one to talk. God, it’s like you’re all the wet dreams I’ve ever had rolled into one and standing naked in front of me for real. Damn, get down here!” Jensen obliged instantly, not wanting to spend another second with his lips not attached to some part of Jared’s body._

_“Wish I could take this slow,” Jensen panted into Jared’s mouth. “God, there are so many things I wanna do to you. Wanna put my mouth on your cock, wanna lick you out, use so much spit we don’t even need lube.” Jared made a high keening nose and Jensen bit down on his shoulder. “Fuck, but I’m already like ten seconds from coming. Just wanna fuck you right now. Can I fuck you, Jay?”_

_“Oh god, fuck, do it!”_

_“You got stuff?” Jensen asked, and Jared motioned towards the drawer of his nightstand. Jensen reached out, yanked it opened and rummaged blindly until he found a bottle of lube. It had a pump on it, which was handy. Jensen wasted no time slicking up his fingers and reaching down between Jared’s legs._

_“Look at you, legs spread open like a needy slut just for me. So goddamn beautiful, can’t wait be inside you,” Jensen murmured into Jared’s ear as he slipped one finger inside. It went in easily, and after a few thrusts he added a second finger_

_Jared’s muscles locked down tight around him, and he waited a moment, kissing up Jared’s neck and whispering more filth in his ear until he relaxed and Jensen was able to work his fingers in and out. He scissored them and stretched Jared as quickly and efficiently as possible._

_“I’m good, c’mon Jen. Wanna feel you,” Jared said. Jensen paused. He still only had two fingers in Jared, and his cock was significantly larger than those two fingers, in both length and girth._

_“You sure? Don’t wanna hurt you, baby,” Jensen said._

_“You won’t. I trust you.”_

_Jensen nodded and withdrew his fingers, slicking his cock up and resting the tip against Jared’s entrance. He pushed slowly but with enough force to breach the first ring of muscles inside Jared. The head of his cock slipped in and Jared gasped harshly._

_“Fuck, you’re big. Holy shit,” he groaned. Jensen stilled, reached his lube-free hand up to brush Jared’s bangs out of his eyes._

_“You okay? I’m right here, baby. I won’t move until you’re ready.”_

_“Yeah, yeah,” Jared panted, “I’m okay. Yeah, just…gimme a minute.”_

_Jensen dropped light kisses across Jared’s face, felt Jared’s smile against his own lips. Slowly, Jensen felt him start to relax, and a few minutes later, Jared told him to move._

_Jensen pulled out slowly, pushed back in even slower. He felt like if he went any faster, he’d blow his load in three thrusts. Plus, these almost painfully controlled movements allowed him to keep his lips pressed against Jared’s, though at this point is was less of a kiss and more just them sharing breaths. It was intimate in a way sex usually wasn’t for Jensen, which was especially surprising considering he’d known Jared all of one hour._

_“Fuck, Jare, feel so good. Don’t ever wanna leave,” Jensen said. Jared moaned low in agreement and his legs wrapped tighter around Jensen’s waist, pulling their bodies impossibly closer._

_“Jen…gonna come…” Jared gasped, and a split second later he was arching off the bed as his cock erupting between their bodies. His muscles constricted around Jensen’s cock, fluttering rhythmically and Jensen couldn’t hold out any longer. His own orgasm rushed through him, lighting his nerves up and causing him to cry out in pleasure as he spilled hot and wet inside Jared._

_He was breathing hard as he came back down, could feel Jared’s chest rising and falling just as quickly. He pulled out slowly, realizing belatedly that he’d forgotten a condom. It was stupid of him, and he hoped Jared wouldn’t be pissed, but there wasn’t exactly anything they could do about it right now. Besides, he was clean, and he had faith that Jared was as well._

_He looked around for something to wipe them off with, his eyes landing on a box of tissues on the nightstand. He grabbed a few and cleaned their chest and bellies off quickly before tossing the tissues onto the floor._

_Jared’s breaths had evened out, and his limbs were sloppy with exhaustion as Jensen tried to arrange them in a better sleeping position. He hovered over Jared for a moment, gaze lingering on Jared’s peaceful face_

_“Yeah,” he whispered, “I’m definitely going to fall in love with you.” He placed a sweet kiss on Jared’s lips and Jared hummed in sleepy contentment. Jensen dropped softly onto the mattress, careful not to jostle Jared and wake him. He curled his body around Jared’s and drifted off to sleep almost instantly._

_Jensen didn’t go back to his dorm room for a whole week. He spent basically all of Saturday and Sunday in bed with Jared, only getting up to eat, shower, and change the sheets. On Monday morning, he borrowed one of Jared’s clean tee shirts and made his way to class, thankful that he kept all of his school-related necessities in his personal studio space on campus. And when he did finally go back to his place, it was just to collect clothes and a few other odds and ends to take back to Jared’s. Even though neither of them ever explicitly stated what was happening, Jensen basically moved in with Jared after that._

Of course, as Jensen told Lia all of this he left out the adult content, but she seemed to get the gist nonetheless.

“So it was kind of like love at first sight?” she asked, matching Jensen’s hushed tones so that none of the other passengers could overhear.

“Yeah, more or less. And then we found out that Jared was pregnant about three months later.”

“Were you happy about it?”

“I was terrified. And god, Jared was just 18 and trying to work as a model. Hard to do when you’re puking all over everything and your belly is growing by the day. But we never once thought about not keeping you, not staying together as a family.”

“But you broke up anyway,” she said sadly. “Why?” Jensen took another deep breath and continued on with the story.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_September 1 st  
Paris, France_

Jared paused in the doorway to Lia’s room. He crossed his ankles and leaned against the doorframe, watching her get lost in her latest art project. It was so much like Jensen; Jared could remember all those afternoons he spent hanging out in Jensen's studio, watching his then-boyfriend for hours on end as he worked on one of his paintings or sculptures.

Jared was no slouch when it came to creativity—he was a photographer, after all, and he had a keen eye for fashion—but his daughter definitely got her true artistic ability from Jensen. As Jared focused on the canvas in front of Lia, a gasp of surprise slipped out. It was so different than what he was used to her painting. Over the last few years, Lia had gotten really into the Impressionist and post-Impressionist movements, and she’d worked diligently to perfect her own version of that style. But the painting Jared was looking at now…

It had an almost charcoal sketch-like quality to it, two figures embraced in a hug. The style was more Dali than da Vinci, with sharp edges and uncertainty of where one figure ended and the other began. However, all the features and appendages seemed to be in the correct spots, and Jared didn’t count any extra ears or arms or anything.

There was a simplicity about it that was beautiful, though he knew no amateur could ever copy it. And yet again, Jared was forced to face how similar Lia was becoming to Jensen. This painting…if Jared closed his eyes, he could practically see Jensen creating the exact same thing.

“Wow,” Jared said, fully stepping into his daughter’s room and coming up to stand behind her. “Where’d this come from?”

“Huh?” Lia asked, startled and jumping slightly. “What d’you mean?”

“Just…it’s so different from what I’ve seen you make.”

“Right, well…” she chuckled nervously. “I learned a few new things at NYU. Guess your money paid off, right?”

“Guess so. It’s just…” Jared halted, not sure what exactly he’d planned on saying. Still, he couldn’t keep hold of the soft words that spilled out. “It reminds me so much of what your other dad used to create.”

Lia set her brush down carefully and turned towards Jared.

“Will you tell me about him now?”

“ _Lia_ …” Jared said, slightly exasperated and feeling wholly guilty about it. Hell, his daughter deserved to know about her other father; she shouldn’t suffer just because Jared could barely stand to _think_ about Jensen let alone _talk_ about him.

“ _Dad_. You’ve started dating someone new, and that’s the first time it’s ever happened. Or at least the first time I’m getting to know about it. If you want to bring someone new into our lives, it’s only fair that I get to know more about my other father.” It was a low blow, but that didn’t mean what Lia said wasn’t true.

“Okay. You’re right,” Jared relented. He moved over to Lia’s bed and sat down, and Lia settled into her desk chair.

“I was 18, just out of high school and starting to get steady work as a model, mostly in New York. It was about three months after Jensen and I had gotten together that I started to get really sick…”

_“Babe, I’m worried about you. I wish you’d just go see a doctor,” Jensen said. He was currently crouched behind Jared who was slumped against the toilet, heaving up little more than air and stomach acid for the fourth time that day. “You’ve got that shoot in L.A. in a few days and you can’t go like this, Jare.”_

_“I told you, it’s just the flu and the doctors can’t help with that,” Jared rasped. He felt Jensen flinch at the roughness of his voice. Jared’s throat was killing him; he’d been vomiting like this for over a week now._

_“But what if it’s not the flu? What if they can help? Don’t you think taking two hours out of your day to get checked out would be worth it?” Jensen pushed. Jared knew his boyfriend felt horrible about it; knew that Jensen knew that the main reason Jared didn’t want to go to the clinic was because of how shitty he was feeling. It was a catch-22, Jared understood that, but he could also feel the serious concern that was practically rolling of Jensen in waves._

_“Fine,” Jared huffed, sitting back and flushing the toilet. “But I’m telling you know, it’s just the flu.”_

_It wasn’t just the flu, and three hours later, Jensen was sitting with Jared in the exam room, being handed pamphlets and printouts all about male pregnancy._

“So you and Jensen didn’t break up when you found out about the pregnancy?” Lia asked, pulling Jared back to the present.

“God, no. We were terrified, of course. We didn’t have a lot of money and we were both still really young. I mean, I couldn’t even legally drink at that point. But we clung to each other. He was my strength, my whole support system, especially when my parents found out about the pregnancy. We weren’t particularly close to begin with, and after that they didn’t want to be a part of my life. But I helped Jensen, too. I talked him down from the ledge more than a few times. He was four years older than me, but I already had quite a few more life experiences than him, mostly due to my work. He was completely out of his element. So we were each other’s rocks.” Jared fell silent, allowing the hurt to bloom unfiltered in his chest for the first time in years.

“So…what happened?” Lia finally asked, voice low and soothing, like she could tell Jared was half a second away from breaking down completely.

“I’m not sure. Maybe we were just too different, and things happened that managed to push us apart. It’s all a little fuzzy now, to be honest, I just remember the pain and heartache. I remember believing that cutting him out of my life would be easier than trying to work things out. It was immature of both of us, but looking back it’s not really surprising. Hell, there’s a reason why high schools sweethearts don’t last and why teen pregnancy is not something to aspire to.

“But I remember we were stressed out; I was nine months pregnant and Jensen was trying to finish up all of his final projects for the end of the school year. And then he got a call that his grandpa had died.”

_“Jay, I have to go. He was my grandpa! He left his ranch to me! You know when I came out to my family my parents all but disowned me. But my grandpa stood with me, helped me out when my parents turned their backs.”_

_“Jen, I can’t travel, I’m like two days away from my due date! And I just…I don’t want you to leave me here alone.”_

_“I know. I know, Jay. God. I don’t know what to do, though! I can’t sell his ranch, it’s been in the family for ages.”_

_“So what, you’re just gonna move back to Kansas? Drop out of school and forget about your dreams?” Jensen shrugged and Jared scoffed. Maybe he was overreacting a bit—he knew how important Jensen’s grandfather was to him, how much Jensen had loved him, but Jared_ really _didn’t to go through this birth alone. Didn’t feel like he should have to._

_“So you’d rather put a dead man before your own children,” he bit out angrily, then snapped his mouth shut when he saw the thunderous look on Jensen’s face._

_“Fuck you, Jared,” Jensen shot back._

_“I just mean—oh,_ fuck _!” Jared cried out, hunching forward and gripping the impressive swell of his belly. “Oh shit, oh shit!”_

_“Jared? Hey, Jared! What’s wrong? C’mon, man, talk to me!” Jensen dropped to the ground beside where Jared was sitting on the couch. He reached out hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to touch Jared anymore. It made Jared’s heart break._

_“I need…hospital,” he panted. “At least now…you can make…the funeral.” Jensen pulled back like he’d been burned, his expression one of devastation. But Jared was in too much pain to apologize._

_By the time they’d made it to the hospital and Jared had given birth to two healthy baby girls, the damage to their relationship had been done._

“Lia, sweetheart,” Jared said, pulling his daughter close when he caught sight of the tear tracks on her face He knew he was probably crying as well, but his whole body felt numb and it didn’t really matter anymore.

“I-I just… d-don’t understand. Didn’t he want me?”

“Of course he did, baby girl. He loved you. And honestly, I didn’t think it would be forever. I figured I’d go to Paris, he’d go back home, and maybe in a few months after we’d had time to cool off, we could reconnect.”

“Then why didn’t you?” she sobbed.

“I don’t know, Lia. I don’t know,” he admitted softly, holding his daughter as they cried matching tears for a lost loved one.

Jared knew, sooner rather than later he’d have to tell Lia about her sister. It would explain a little better why he and Jensen had never reunited, but he couldn’t smash her heart like that again so soon.


	3. Say It Ain't So

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a bit longer than the last two. It got a little darker than I’d planned, but what can I say. I have a weakness for putting the boys through lots of angsty times.
> 
> WARNINGS: non-con (not terribly graphic and not between J2), roofies

_September 1 st  
Paris, France_

The minute the plane started circling the city, Jensen’s nerves finally got the better of him and he couldn’t keep from twitching in his seat.

“Dad, relax,” Lia said, placing her hand softly on his forearm.

“Just...things really didn’t end well between me and Jared. I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” Lia replied with a snort just as the captain came over the loudspeaker and announced their descent.

They’d concocted a pretty simple plan during their layover in North Carolina. Lia would get Jensen up to the front door of her and Jared’s apartment, and then leave and meet Emma at a café a block away. It was foolproof, in theory, but Jared’s reaction was a wildcard, and Jensen could admit to himself that he didn’t have a very good feeling about it. But he knew he had to give it a chance, give _them_ a chance. He owed himself—and Jared—at least that much.

Finally, the plane landed, and between one breath and the next Jensen was standing outside a third-floor bright green door.

“Good luck,” Lia whispered. She gave Jensen a quick hug before hefting both of their duffels over her shoulder and disappearing back down the stairs.

“Thanks, Lia…” Jensen replied a whole minute later.

He sighed, took a deep breath, took another one. Then he counted to ten. Then he began pacing back and forth, realizing absently that he was using breathing techniques that he’d learned years ago, back when he’d taken Jared to Lamaze class.

He sighed again, fussed with his shirt and hair before finally lifting his fist up to the door and knocking softly three times.

He counted the seconds, reaching sixty and then ninety and then two minutes. He was about to knock again—or turn tail and run, he wasn’t quite sure which way it would go—when the door flung open to reveal Jared.

Jensen clasped as hand against his chest; seeing Jared still managed to take his breath away, even after all this time.

The years had been beyond kind to Jared; he used to be the same height as Jensen, but now he stood a few inches taller. His hair was a bit longer, his chest even broader. He managed to make the ripped jeans and washed-out tee that he was wearing look like haute couture. He was sporting a few days of beard growth, making him look even more grown up than the clean-shaven young model that Jensen had fallen in love with. And his eyes—god, _his eyes_. They were a swirling ocean of blue and green and brown as they took in Jensen’s surprise appearance.

“Holy shit,” Jared finally whispered, “am I hallucinating?” Seemingly not expecting an answer, he reached out slowly until his fingers came into contact the with hand Jensen still had pressed to his own chest.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Jared repeated when he found Jensen to be very much solid and real.

“Hey, Jare,” Jensen rasped, voice thick with emotion.

“Jensen,” Jared breathed out, looking just as lost as the day they parted ways.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“Holy shit!” Jared repeated for the third time, just for good measure. Holy shit, Jensen was standing right in front of him and it wasn’t a dream! A dream he’d had too many damn times, in all honesty.

“Jay, I…” Jensen trailed off, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck as his eyes blinked furiously. Yet his gaze stayed fixed on Jared, and Jared’s eyes were glued just as strongly to Jensen.

“Oh my god, Jen. What—how—”

“Surprise?” Jensen said, sheepishly offering a half smile.

Jared stumbled as he stepped back from the doorway. “C-come in…” He trailed off, not actually sure if Jensen would come inside. Hell, he had no idea why his ex was even in this freaking _country_. But Jensen shuffled inside without another word, pausing in the entryway to look around the large area in front of him.

The living room/dining room/kitchen area was wide open, with light streaming in from floor-to-ceiling windows along one wall. Jared was proud of his apartment; it was his home, the place he felt safe in with his daughter, but it also represented how far he’d come in life.

The living room held an oversized couch and mismatched chair, a plush rug in front of the corner fireplace and a large flat-screen on the wall next to it. All of the artwork he had hung on the walls were originals, most of them done by Lia herself but a few from other local artists. There was one painting of Jensen’s that Jared had been given for Christmas the year they were together. He flushed when he realized Jensen was staring intensely at it.

Jared expected Jensen to comment on it, but instead he cleared his throat softly and turned back to Jared.

“I like your place.”

“Th-thanks. Um…” Jared was still shell-shocked, his words starting and stopping a few times before he finally croaked out the question that had been burning through him since the second he’d opened the door. “You’re here. How are you here?”

“It’s called a plane, Jare,” Jensen teased lightly. But his smirk disappeared as quickly as it had come. “I…I needed to see you, I guess.”

“You _guess_? Jensen, it’s been thirteen years! I’m gonna need a little more than ‘you guess!’” And then another though occurred to Jared, and he was embarrassed that it had taken this long for him to think of how his daughter would react to this. “Oh god, Lia…” Thank god she’d gone out earlier; he just hoped she wouldn’t come home until Jared stopped freaking out.

“Yeah, about that,” Jensen said, biting his bottom lip, another nervous tick he apparently still had. And apparently Jared still thought it was adorable, too. “Lia, Emma—”

“Emma?” Jared asked sharply. “My…my daughter’s name is Emma?” He swallowed thickly, feeling the sudden sting of tears in his eyes.

“Yay, Jay. Her name’s Emma and she’s beautiful and so much like you. And…well, you’ve kind of already met her.”

“What? What d’you mean?”

“Emma went to NYU this summer. I mean, what are the chances of that happening? Anyways, I guess she and Lia decided to, uh, switch places on us.”

“Fuck. You mean I’ve been with Em-Emma for the last month? This whole time and I… Oh, _god_ ,” Jared said, sucking in deep breaths and trying not to panic. He stumbled towards the small dining table and collapsed into a chair.

“Wait, so Lia—the real Lia—she’s here with you?”

“Yeah, she met Emma at that café you guys like so much.”

“Good. Okay, that’s good,” Jared said numbly.

“Jay,” Jensen said, making his way over to Jared and kneeling down in front of him. He placed his hands on Jared’s knees, lightly at first and then more firmly when Jared didn’t push him away. “I’m _so goddamn sorry_ ,” he said. His thumbs rubbed smalls circles on the insides of Jared’s knees, and Jared relaxed marginally with the calming, repetitive motion.

“You used to do that,” he mumbled.

“Hmm?” Jensen asked softly.

“When I couldn’t sleep at night, when the girls were kicking really hard or my back was aching really badly. You used to do that,” Jared said, his fingers ghosting over where Jensen’s thumbs were still moving.

“Yeah. I did,” Jensen said tenderly, intimately. And for one blissful moment, everything was right in the world.

“I know we need to talk,” Jared finally broke the silence, “but I’d really like to go hug my daughters. _Both_ of them.”

“Me too,” Jensen agreed with a chuckle. He stood, knees creaking slightly, then grabbed Jared’s hand and hauled him up off the chair.

“Let me just grab my shoes,” Jared said, hurrying to his bedroom. He was back in a flash, swiping his keys and wallet from the kitchen island and patting his pocket to double check that he had his cell. “Kay, let’s go.”

The walk to Café Messidor took less than five minutes, and Jared found himself bursting through the door (perhaps a bit dramatically) and looking around frantically for his daughters. He spotted them instantly, sitting side by side at a table in the corner next to a window, two sandwiches and two Cokes in front of them. Jared rushed forwards and Emma stood hesitantly. He got a split-second glance of her worried expression before he pulled her into a crushing hug.

“Emma,” he whispered brokenly into her hair.

“Dad,” she replied, voice cracking.

“I’m never letting go of you again,” he said, then dragged Lia in to join them. “I’m never letting go of either of you ever again.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jensen watched from just inside the door as Jared swept their daughters into his arms. The sight made him choked up and a little weepy; he honestly thought he’d never see this. It was a beautiful thing to witness, and he didn’t care how sappy his thoughts were.

He glided across the room and came up behind Jared, laying his arm on Emma’s shoulder. She looked up from where she’d had her face buried against Jared’s shoulder and beamed at him. Eventually, Jared released the girls and Jensen hugged them both quickly, lingering a few extra moments with Emma; after all, he hadn’t seen her in months.

Jared moseyed up to the counter to order some food while Jensen took one of the seats across from his daughters. He was amazed, seeing them together now, how easily he could tell them apart. Yes, they were identical twins, but he could see their differences clear as day; the way Lia twirled her hair or how Emma drummed her fingers absently on the table.

And then Jared was back, balancing two more sandwiches and two glass bottles of Coke.

“Oh god, those are—”

“Your favorite, I remember,” Jared said, grinning as he set one of the bottles down in front of Jensen. Jensen had a serious weakness for soda in the traditional glass bottles; he swore it was the best-tasting Coke a person could ever have. And yeah, Jared remembered.

Jared settled in beside him and dug in to his food with gusto. Jensen let himself watch Jared for a minute, laughing when made a mess. It was just like before, and as Jensen’s heart pulsed with a renewed life, he realized that nostalgia and bittersweet memories could _never_ live up to the real thing.

It was their first meal with the four of them all together, and Jensen soaked it up. He knew he would never forget this moment, no matter what happened in the future, for as long as he lived.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

After a long lunch filled with laughter and stories, they returned to the apartment so Jensen and Lia could stow their bags. Then they headed back out again, wandering around the city on foot as Jared pointed out some of his favorite spots: the bakery where he picked up a fresh baguette every morning; Lia’s school; a nearby park, its walkways lined with bright blooming flowers and people lounging on the grass, couples having picnics and groups of friends joking around and a few lone people just relaxing with a book.

Emma had her phone in her hand, constantly snapping photos shamelessly and then pressing the phone into Jensen’s hand before going to stand by Lia. They goofed around, pulled funny faces or weird poses, and Jensen captured it all on camera. First snapping a photo on Emma’s phone and then his own, while Jared did the same with Lia’s phone and his camera.

Hours passed and Jensen could tell Lia was starting to drag. He knew she probably hadn’t slept very well on the plane, what few hours of sleep she had even managed to get.

“Why don’t we head on home?” Jared said, like he could read Jensen’s mind.

“Okay. But how ‘bout you two go out for dinner?” Emma said without missing a beat. Subtlety was not her strong suit, never really had been, and Jensen knew Jared could also see straight through to her underlying agenda.

“Sure,” Jensen said before Jared could protest. “We need to talk anyways,” he said pointedly, and Jared nodded sharply in agreement.

Jensen wasn’t sure how smoothly dinner would go. Yes, today had been better than anything Jensen could have imagined, but Emma and Lia had acted as a sort of buffer between him and Jared, and the last thing Jensen had wanted to do was ruin their first time together as a family with awkward conversations and tears.

Still, it needed to be done, and it was probably better to do it sooner rather than later.

So once again they returned to Jared’s apartment. Jared got Jensen set up in the guest bedroom then left to take a quick shower. While Jensen was waiting, Lia dragged him into her room where Emma would be sleeping as well and began showing him all of her artwork. He was impressed, with both her talent and creativity. He could see himself in her work, but he could also see where Jared’s brand of artistry had influenced her paintings.

“These are amazing, Lia. I’m really proud of you,” he said, sweeping her into a hug.

“Thanks!” she beamed. “Emma and I are going to work on a joint project while you guys are out tonight.”

“Well, I can’t wait to see it,” Jensen said.

“All done, Jen,” Jared said, popping his head into the room. “I put some clean towels on your bed.”

“Thanks, Jared. I’ll be ready in a few.”

“Take your time.”

Jensen hurried through a shower and found some hole-free jeans in his duffel. He shrugged on a black button-up shirt, more fitted than he usually liked to wear but he could admit to himself that he wanted to impress Jared at least a little bit.

He tugged on some shoes and met Jared in the living room. He was looking fresh, his hair swept back a bit and his jeans hugging him in all the right spots. Jensen coughed as arousal swooped through him.

“You look great,” he said, causing Jared to smirk.

“Thanks. So do you. So, you ready?”

“Absolutely. Lead the way!”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared introduced Jensen to the joys of riding the Metro. He’d chosen to take Jensen to an outdoor restaurant just across the street from the Eiffel Tower. It was laid-back and a great place to people-watch, and the Seine was just to the other side of him, happy sounds drifting up from the tour boats that floated past every few minutes.

After they sat down, Jensen opened the menu and took one look at it before snapping it shut. Jared looked at his own and realized everything was in French. He giggled at seeing Jensen so out of his element yet so okay with it, and a few seconds later Jensen joined him in his laughter.

“You should probably just order for me,” he said, and Jared nodded.

“You still like the same stuff? You’re not suddenly a vegan or anything, are you?”

“Me?!” Jensen gasped, looking affronted. His face smoothed out into an amused smirk. “Hell no.”

“Good,” Jared said, the weight of the word carrying so much more than just dietary jokes.

A bottle of wine came out a few minutes later, and by the time their food arrived they’d finished the bottle and started in on a second one.

The conversation flowed, just like it always had, and Jared could almost pretend that the last thirteen years had gone differently.

A third bottle of wine appeared at their table, and subsequently disappeared into their bellies as quickly as the first two had. Jared found himself giggling like he hadn’t in a long time, his limbs feeling loose and his body light and relaxed.

“You’re tipsy,” Jensen said, then promptly hiccupped.

“You’re one to talk,” Jared giggled some more. “Maybe we should head home?”

“Mmm,” Jensen replied noncommittedly. Jared took it as a yes; at the very least, they should probably leave the restaurant. They’d been there for almost three hours and Jared’s ass was starting to fall asleep from sitting in the metal chair for so long.

“C’mon, babe,” Jared said, pulling Jensen out of the chair. He hadn’t even noticed the old familiar endearment slip out until they were boarding the metro car and Jensen pointed it out.

“You called me babe,” he whispered hotly in Jared’s ear. Jared shrugged and felt his face heat up. “’s okay. I like it,” Jensen added, and Jared leaned his full weight against him as they swayed with the movement of the train and the wine running through their veins.

They stumbled together as they made their way from the metro stop to Jared’s apartment, Jensen’s arm wrapped tightly around Jared’s waist and Jared’s hand in his back pocket. It was so similar to how they’d been all over each other the first night they’d gotten together, and Jared couldn’t take it anymore. A block away from his place, his stopped and pushed Jensen up against a building before diving in for a kiss. Jensen respond instantly, tangling his hands in Jared’s hair and opening his mouth to let Jared’s tongue slide in. It was hot and slick and Jared whined, his need sudden and absolute.

Jensen slid his hands from Jared’s hair down his neck and the sides of his body to settle on his hips. He gripped them tightly and flipped them around so that Jared was now pressed back against the stone façade.

“Fuck,” Jensen panted hungrily into his mouth.

Jared whined again, finally finding his voice to growl at Jensen, “I need you. _Now_.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Jensen hissed, then pulled Jared away from the wall and practically dragged him down the street. Jared kept tripping on his own feet, drunk and unable to look away from the striking vision that Jensen made, lit up by the glow of streetlights and this reckless love that bound them together.

The apartment was near-dark when they fell through the door, just a lamp on over by the couch. It was silent except for the low hum of the air conditioning unit, and Jared snorted as Jensen rubbed up against his ass and moaned loudly in his ear.

“Shh! Girls are asleep,” Jared shushed him, and then fell into yet another fit of giggles. He pulled Jensen down the hall and towards his room, occasionally bumping drunkenly into walls.

And wow, Jared really was pretty drunk. Because he could have sworn that just a few seconds ago he’d been fully clothed. It was okay, though, because Jensen was naked too. God, Jared had missed that sight.

Gently, Jensen pushed him back onto his bed and Jared bounced on the mattress. Jensen followed him, crawling up Jared’s body like an animal stalking its prey. Jared shivered as Jensen’s drooling cock nestled in beside his own aching one.

“Whaddya want, baby?” Jensen murmured hotly in Jared’s ear, and Jared shivered again at the possibilities laid out before—well, _above_ —him.

“Oh god, Jen, _everything_.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

And that was all Jensen needed. He quickly flipped Jared onto his stomach and melted into him, his mouth right by Jared’s ear so he could whisper dirty words into it.

“Gonna make you feel so good, baby. Gonna kiss my way down your back, gonna eat you out ‘til you’re begging for my cock.”

“Fuck, Jen!” Jared cried.

“Shh, baby, gotta be quiet for me.”

“Oh god, oh god,” Jared whimpered, and Jensen started licking and nipping his way across Jared’s smooth expanse of skin.

He worked his way down to Jared’s perfectly pert ass, pulling his cheeks apart and taking a moment to revel in the sight of Jared’s tight pink little hole.

“ _Jeeeeen_ ,” Jared whined wildly, and Jensen couldn’t wait any longer. He buried his face between Jared’s cheeks and went to work, first laving long swipes of his tongue over Jared’s hole and then working the tip inside. The keening noises coming from Jared spurred Jensen on, and in no time at all his tongue was thrusting in and out of Jared.

When Jared was nice and slick with spit, Jensen pressed in a finger alongside his tongue. Immediately Jared tensed up, clenching around Jensen.

“Holy shit you’re tight, babe,” Jensen gasped.

“Yeah it’s…kinda been…awhile,” Jared panted.

“How long?” Jensen had to ask.

“Uh…thirteen years.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jensen groaned. Jared hadn’t been with anyone since him? Something possessive and animalistic roared inside of him, and he growled against Jared’s skin, biting and sucking and leaving marks scattered all across his ass cheeks and lower back.

“So fucking hot, Jay.”

“More, Jen,” Jared begged, and Jensen obliged.

Considering how goddamn tight Jared was, it didn’t take too long until Jensen had three fingers pumping in and out of him.

“C’mon Jen, ‘m ready.” Jared’s drawl was lazy with lust. Jensen withdrew his fingers and grabbed Jared’s hips, manhandling him until he was once again spread out on his back.

“Wanna see you, baby, wanna look into your beautiful eyes while I fuck you.”

“Yeah, yes,” Jared pleaded, producing a bottle of slick out of thin air and pushing it into Jensen’s hand. “Need you now, Jen.”

“I got you, Jay,” Jensen replied. He lubed up his cock and positioned himself at Jared’s entrance. He pushed forward, moving slowly and pausing often to allow Jared time to adjust.

Once he was fully seated, he remained still while he caught Jared in a messy, open-mouthed kiss. He felt Jared’s muscles relax around his cock, and he pulled out and plunged back in. The little ‘Oof!’ Jared huffed out sent Jensen into overdrive, and he set up a punishing pace, swiveling his hips until his cock was assaulting Jared’s prostate and causing Jared to writhe in pleasure.

“Jen, gonna—gonna come!” Jared gasped, and Jensen reached down between them to grip Jared’s cock. He’d barely touched the rock-hard length before Jared was coming like a freight train, curling up into Jensen’s body and constricting tight around Jensen’s cock. Jensen followed him over the edge moments later, moaning loudly into Jared’s mouth.

“So good, baby, so fucking good,” he whispered.

“God, Jen…love…” Jared said sleepily. Jensen chuckled; Jared’d always had the habit of basically passing out after they fucked. Jensen found it endearing, and he didn’t even care that he was always left with cleanup.

He pulled slowly out of Jared, grimacing when Jared winced in his sleep. He fumbled around on the floor by the bed until he found a shirt to wipe them off with. He then snuggled up to Jared’s side, laying his head on Jared’s chest and following him into dreamland.

And when Jensen woke up halfway though the night to Jared caressing his sides and back and gazing lovingly at him, Jensen rolled Jared over, fitted himself along Jared’s back, and fucked him deep and slow until his orgasm rolled through him almost lazily. As he painted Jared’s insides, he felt Jared clench around him and come untouched. They both fell back asleep almost instantly.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_September 6 th  
Paris, France_

If Jared was being honest with himself (and he tried to be, really), he was terrified the day after he and Jensen reunited that Jensen would walk out on him. They weren’t back together, not really—there’d been no more sex between them since that drunken night, and their intimacy didn’t move past holding hands while walking down the street or cuddling on the couch to watch a movie after their daughters went to bed.

When it became clear that Jensen wasn’t going to up and leave in the blink of an eye, Jared was able to breathe easily again.

The four of them spent the following days together as a real family, doing all the tourist-y things that one would expect an American in Paris to do. Of course Jared and Lia had done all this before, but getting to experience it all again with Jensen and Emma opened his eyes and made him feel the thrill and excitement of a first time all over again.

They visited the Louvre, of course, and while they’d never be able to see everything in one day—no freaking way—Jensen insisted that they see the Mona Lisa. Jared just laughed, swore to Jensen that he’d be disappointed, and then laughed some more at Jensen’s expression when they entered the hall that housed the painting as well as dozens of others.

The crowd surrounding the da Vinci masterpiece was a good eight people deep, everyone holding up cameras and phones to get shots of the famous work of art. As they got closer, Jensen muttered darkly about how small it was.

“I though it’d be bigger,” he said with a pout. “Pictures always make it seem larger than life. Really, you know… _grand_. It’s like the size of a freaking postage stamp!” Jared chuckled.

“You’re so dramatic,” Jared murmured in his ear, squeezing Jensen’s hand when Jensen’s frown just deepened. “C’mon, I’ll take us to one of the less-crowded wings,” Jared said more loudly so that Lia and Emma could hear as well.

“Can we look at mummy stuff?” Jensen asked like he was a little kid. Jared just laughed some more.

The next day, they climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and later in the evening they relaxed on one of the boat tours on the Seine River.

“This is awesome. I can’t believe you get to live here,” Emma sighed wistfully.

 _Maybe someday you can too_ , Jared thought hopefully. He wasn’t quite ready to voice that wish out loud, though.

A week into Jensen’s surprise visit, Jared couldn’t ignore Mateo’s calls anymore. By this point, he was calling every few hours, and Jared felt a little guilty for possibly making Mateo think that something was wrong.

Something kind of was wrong, though, or at least different. Jared knew that, no matter what happened with Jensen, he couldn’t keep going on with his relationship with Mateo. Sure, they’d only been dating a month, but it had been a pretty intense month. Plus, he was the first person that Jared had dated—or even actually _liked_ —since he and Jensen had split so long ago.

He figured he owed Mateo more than just a phone call, which was how he found himself at Mateo’s place on Friday evening.

Mateo had made dinner and set the small table in his dining area with candles and red roses. Jared hated roses; he’d always felt they were cliché and boring compared to so many other flowers out there. The fact that Mateo didn’t know this just proved to Jared that breaking up was the right thing to do. And okay, maybe that reasoning was shallow and a bit flimsy, but that didn’t make it not true.

The conversation over dinner was stilted and a bit awkward, but if Mateo noticed he didn’t comment on it. Jared didn’t eat much, his stomach too busy churning with anxiety, but he downed two glasses of wine hoping it would soothe his nerves.

That was when he started to feel funny. _Wrong_.

“Jared, you with me?” Mateo asked, his throaty voice cutting through the fog in Jared’s mind.

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Don’ feel so good,” he admitted, setting his glass down and trying to stand. His legs were like jello and he flopped back into the chair. “Mateo?” he asked, because the expression on the man’s face was clearly devoid of any concern.

“I really am sorry to do this, Jared. But I know what you’ve been up to. I saw you with him. Did you spread your legs for him? Did you let him fuck you when you barely let me kiss you?” he asked bitterly. Jared’s thoughts were moving sluggishly so it took him a minute to realize what was happening.

“What’d you do?” he asked, voice shaking with fear. “What’d you give me?”

“Just a little, how do you say, social lubricant,” Mateo replied with a sick smile. “We spent a month together. I deserve—”

“You don’ _deserve_ shit,” Jared spat out, but his words were already becoming more slurred. Mateo rose from his seat and prowled towards Jared.

“Oh, but I do. And I intend on collecting right now,” he purred. He reached out to stroke Jared’s face and Jared recoiled in revulsion. The fear and adrenaline coursing through him gave him enough strength to push back from the table and stand up. He stumbled to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it.

He breathed a sigh of relief that he still had his phone in his pocket and he pulled it out. The screen was blurry and his eyes wouldn’t focuse, but he finally fumbled to the speed dial screen and found Jensen’s name.

 _Please pick up, please pick up_ , he pleaded silently.

“Jared?” Jensen answered, and Jensen let out a sob. “Jared? Jay, baby, what’s wrong?” Jensen hadn’t used that term of endearment since they’d had sex. That word, combined with the worry in Jensen’s voice, had Jared choking out another sob. “Jared, talk to me. What’s going on?”

But Jared couldn’t find his voice, couldn’t string together the right words. Eventually, all he got out was, “It’s…like Wallace…all over ‘gain,” he whimpered. Jensen’s sharp intake of breath gave Jared hope that the other man understood what Jared was trying to say.

“Jay, where are you? Are you still at Mateo’s?”

“Yes.” It came out as barely more than a breath; he wasn’t even sure Jensen had heard him. But then—

“I’ll be right there. Did he drug you? Fuck, I’m calling the cops anyways. I’ll be right there, Jared. Don’t hang up the phone, okay? I’m gonna stay on with you until I get there.”

Jared heard muffled shouts in the background, the sound of his daughters’ voices interspersed with Jensen’s deeper one. He flinched when Mateo banged on the bathroom door. The apartment was an older one, and he wasn’t sure how long the lock would hold up.

“Hurry, Jen,” Jared begged, just as the door burst open in a cloud of splinters.

“Jared!” Jensen yelled through the line, but then Mateo was ripping the phone from his hands and throwing it against the wall. Jared jumped as it shattered, and he scooted back as far away from the door as possible.

Not that it mattered. He knew Jensen wouldn’t be here in time, and whatever drugs Mateo had given him were now coursing through his system, dragging his limbs down heavily like they were made of lead and making every movement feel like a herculean effort. There was no way Jared would be able to fight Mateo off like this.

Jensen would be too late.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jensen was five seconds away from losing his shit. He’d heard what sounded like a door being broken down and then the call was abruptly disconnected. When he’d tried to call back, it went straight to voicemail.

He hated to put so much on Lia, but since neither Jensen nor Emma spoke French he’d asked Lia to call the cops. Luckily, she’d been to Mateo’s apartment once (and Jensen was really not concerned with that fact right now) so she was able to lead the way. Also luckily, Mateo’s place was only minutes away. Jensen ran there, Emma and Lia just steps behind him.

He tried not to let how scared Jared had sounded, how _fucked up_ he’d sounded, cloud his thoughts. He needed to be clearheaded. He needed to be there for Jared. Because there was no doubt in Jensen’s head that Jared had been roofied or something similar.

Jared was loud and strong and vibrant, and there was only one other time that Jensen remembered ever seeing him—hearing him—sound so small and terrified. Jared making that comment about Wallace just confirmed Jensen’s suspicions.

Wallace was a photographer who, fourteen years ago, had nearly raped Jared during a photo shoot. Jared hadn’t been drugged that time, but he’d been weak with morning sickness and the photographer’s assistant had been more than willing to hold Jared down. It was pure luck that Jared’s manager had randomly shown up at the shoot and interrupted the attackers just moments before Jared had been completely violated.

Jensen pushed back the memory of Jared laying in their bed, curled up around Jensen and sobbing into his shoulder as he told Jensen what had happened. Jensen needed to focus, needed to get to Jared. But with each passing minute, he had a sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to get there in time.

When they finally reached the right building, Jensen had no qualms in kicking down the outside door if it was locked. Thankfully it wasn’t, and he rushed up the stairs to the second floor when Lia told him the apartment number.

This door was, unsurprisingly, locked. Jensen turned towards his daughters and took a deep breath. “Go back outside, wait for the cops.”

“But dad—”

“ _No_ , Emma,” Jensen cut in forcefully. “I can’t—I don’t want you two to see this,” he admitted. He was too freaked out to lie about what he was likely to find inside. “Please. _Go_.” They nodded and disappeared back down the stairs, and Jensen gave the door a few good kicks before the lock broke.

The sight that met him was worse than he’d feared.

Jared was spread out on his back on the floor, naked. Jensen couldn’t see any movements from him. Mateo was straddling his chest, bent over his face as he fucked into Jared’s slack mouth. It made Jensen want to vomit, but instead he threw himself at Mateo and dragged him away from Jared. Mateo was obviously shocked at being interrupted, and Jensen used it to his advantage. He slammed the man’s head into the hardwood floor once, twice, three times, until Mateo crumpled into an unconscious heap.

Jensen pushed the limp body away before rushing over to Jared’s side.

“Oh god, Jay. Baby, I’m so sorry. Can you hear me? Come on, Jared, open your eyes. Let me see your beautiful eyes.” Jared blinked awake slowly, his eyes glazed over from the drugs and confusion and terror. “There you are. I’m here, Jay. I’ve got you. The police are on their way.”

“Jens…” Jared whispered. “Tired. Hurts.”

“What hurts, baby? Can you tell me where it hurts?” Jensen asked, though he dreaded the answer. Who knew what all Mateo had done to Jared before Jensen showed up? But Jared shook his head, his eyes flashing in fear.

“Tired,” he repeated, then closed his eyes. His body went limp in Jensen’s arms, but he was breathing steadily so Jensen figured he was okay for the moment, that it was probably just the roofie making him sleepy.

He looked around the room and spotted a blanket on the couch. Jensen grabbed it and tossed it over Jared to cover his nakedness. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get Jared’s jeans back on with him unconscious, and when the paramedics got here they’d probably just need to cut the clothing off Jared anyways.

Suddenly, the apartment was flooded with cops and paramedics, and Lia and Emma were there, too. Jensen stood and pulled them away to the edge of the room. He hated for them to see their father like this, hated that this had even happened to Jared in the first place.

“I think you both should go home,” Jensen said, trying to steady his voice.

“No,” Lia practically growled. Emma nodded her head vehemently in agreement.

“I don’t want you to see this,” Jensen said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. He wasn’t mad at them; he was mad at Mateo for doing this to Jared. He was mad at _himself_ for not getting here in time.

“Dad, we’re thirteen,” Emma said, as if _that_ was Jensen’s issued with the whole thing. He breathed deeply, in for five seconds, out for eight.

“Look…Jared’s going to be out of it for at least a few hours. And he needs to get checked out by the medics, and the cops are going to ask questions and _I don’t want you to see any of this_.”

“We need to be here, for dad, for you,” Lia insisted. Jensen huffed in frustration. He was done arguing; he needed to get back to Jared.

“Okay, fine. Just…please stay over here, okay?” They nodded, obviously relieved that he’d relented. His expression softened and he pulled them both into a hug. “He’s gonna be okay,” he said in a low voice. “I promise.”

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jared wavered in and out of consciousness. His body felt numb, probably a combination of the drugs and shock. Tender hands carded through his hair and rubbed his shoulder soothingly. He leaned in to the familiar touch, knew that he was safe with this person. There were voices around him, talking; the warmest voice, the closest one to him, seemed to be the only one speaking to Jared. He wasn’t with it enough to understand what was being said, but he could tell that the person with that soft voice didn’t expect him to answer. It was there for simple comfort, which Jared definitely needed right about now.

There was a pinch in his arm and the voice kept murmuring to him, assurances that he’d feel better soon. Jared wasn’t so sure about that, so he just let his mind drift wherever it wanted to go. He felt several sets of hands lift him up off the floor and on to something a little softer. He struggled for a minute, remembering that Mateo had practically ripped his clothes off him once he’d broken down the door to the bathroom. He didn’t want all these people around him to see him naked and vulnerable and…and _weak_ and—

“Shh, Jay, it’s okay. I covered you with a blanket before anyone got here,” the warm voice— _Jensen’s_ voice—whispered in his ear. Jared ceased his struggling and instead force his eyes open. The fog was lifting slightly from his mind and from his limbs. To his left he saw an IV, the thin tube trailing down to the inside of his elbow. It was probably flushing the drugs out of his system.

As the minutes passed and the IV fluids cleaned his system, Jared started feeling better and better. Well, physically. Not emotionally. He felt turned inside out and bared raw. He looked to Jensen who hadn’t moved from his side since the IV went in, and his heart fell at the wounded expression on Jensen’s face.

“The paramedics need to speak with you, Jay. They need to know if you need to go to the hospital.”

Jared shook his head frantically; the idea of strangers poking at him, examining him, made his gut clench and his chest tighten.

“Jared…” Jensen said, voice dead serious. “ _Do you need to go to the hospital?_ ” Jared shook his head again and Jensen sighed. “Baby, I just want to make sure you’re okay. Physically, at least.”

“I’m fine,” Jared finally spoke, his voice ragged. Jensen winced at the coarseness, and Jared was sure that Jensen knew why his voice sounded so rough. Jensen had seen what Mateo had done to him.

But Jensen had also gotten there before it had gone any further.

“You saved me, Jens,” Jared whispered. Jensen snorted and looked away, but Jared could see the wetness in his eyes. “Not your fault, Jensen.”

“I’m so goddamn sorry, Jay,” Jensen murmured.

“Just take me home, Jen.”

“Of course, baby. Let’s get you home.”


	4. Come Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I outlined this it was only supposed to be four chapters but the story got a little carried away from me (which I’m _totally_ cool with) and so I’m thinking it’ll be another chapter or two (or three? who knows) and an epilogue. Sorry if that annoys you. Yay if you’re happy about it! I just feel like there’s more to it.

_September 14 th  
Paris, France_

Jared’s sofa was fucking magnificent. It was oversized and overstuffed and Jensen could probably die here and be happy. It certainly helped that he’d had a couple of beers, and that he knew Jared was happy and safe, curled up against his side with his head resting heavily on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen’s feet were propped up on the coffee table, and Emma and Lia were sprawled across the armchairs on either side of the couch.

The TV was on, a movie playing low in the background that Jensen was only half focused on. It was old, something with lots of singing and dancing and long, soulful looks.

Whatever heat wave France had been going through had finally broken a few days ago, and the days since had been cool and the nights full-on chilly. A fire was crackling merrily in the fireplace, and Jensen burrowed down deeper into the couch and wrapped his arm tighter around Jared’s body, pulling him closer and rubbing his thumb in small circles on the smooth skin beneath Jared’s thermal tee.

“Y’know,” he said lazily, stroking Jared’s hair, “Em, Lia…you never actually told either of us how you ran into each other this summer.”

“Mmm,” Jared hummed in interested agreement. Emma and Lia instantly start laughing.

“Oh my god, it’s actually kind of hilarious,” Lia starts.

“Yeah,” Emma adds, “I mean, I think we would’ve met sooner or later, obviously, but it happened the first night.”

“There was a big mixer for all the students…”

“And I got there first. And they had waiters coming around taking drink orders, and I asked for a sweet tea.”

“And then I come in a few minutes later,” Lia takes over the story, “and a waiter comes up to me with what I think is just regular iced tea. So I take a drink—”

“—and then she spits it out all over the waiter’s face!” Emma cackles. Lia’s slapping the arm of the chair and panting for breath between rolls of laughter.

“Hey, at least I didn’t puke on him! Remember Chris—”

“Oh my god! So a few of the older students snuck out one night, apparently they had fake IDs and hit up a bar…”

“And they got plastered. And on their way in, one of the kids—”

“Chris, also in the painting class—”

“Yeah, Chris. So our floor RA, Stacy, is standing there in Simpson pajamas yelling at him—”

“—and he just turns green and then upchucks _all over_ Stacy! It was nasty.”

“And the next day he had to clean it up instead of going to class,” Lia finishes the story with a flourish.

Meanwhile, Jensen was sitting there, jaw dropped as he watched the back-and-forth between his daughters. Their roaring laughter was like music to his ears, and part of him was scared to know exactly all the hijinks they got up to together this summer.

He could feel Jared pressing a smile into Jensen’s neck, the first real smile Jensen had seen from his…his Jared since the attack had happened.

And almost like Jared could read Jensen’s thoughts, his soft voice broke through the girls’ laughter as he asked, “Oh god, you raised hell in New York, didn’t you?” But the grin was still plastered on his face, and it just grew when Jared took in the girls’ matching looks of mischief.

“Oh, dads. You have _no idea_ ,” Emma replied.

Eventually everyone calmed down, and Jensen and Jared were able to get the rest of the story out of their daughters.

After Lia had accidentally spit out the ‘That was _not_ iced tea, that was some sugar monstrosity!’ onto the waiter, the waiter started freaking out. Apparently he had some type of spit phobia. Emma was drawn over to the commotion, and then her and Lia subsequently started freaking out when they saw each other.

And their reactions to seeing each other had caused yet another commotion, so they’d been led out of the big hall where the mixer was happening to someplace quieter.

“It didn’t take very long for us to figure out what was going on,” Lia said.

“It didn’t?” Jensen asked, enthralled by their storytelling.

“Yeah, I mean, we look identical, we have the same birthday, and we both only know one of our fathers? Wasn’t that hard to put two and two together,” Emma said with a chuckle. Jared shifted uncomfortably beside Jensen, pushing himself fully upright and out of Jensen’s hold. He cleared his throat, and Jensen looked over and caught the flash of guilt in his eyes.

“Yeah, about that…” Jared started, but Lia interrupted him before he could continue.

“It’s okay, dad.”

“Really?” Jared asked skeptically.

“Okay, _no_ , it’s not okay,” Lia huffed. “But Em and I have spent a lot of time talking about it the last two weeks. You know, once we got the whole story.”

“It sucks,” Emma said pointedly. “It sucks that I missed out on half my family for thirteen years of my life. That I didn’t know I had a freaking twin! But…we kinda understand at the same time, I guess…”

“Pain, especially emotional pain, makes people do really stupid shit,” Jensen admitted with a sad smile. “And Jared and I have talked a lot about it the last two weeks as well, and we both wish that we’d made different choices. I know that won’t erase the past, but I— _we_ —want you to know the future is going to be different.”

At that declaration, both Emma and Lia perked up.

“Yeah? Like how?” Lia asked.

“We haven’t worked out all the details, yet,” Jared said. “But we have time.”

“Yeah. I’m going to have to go back eventually to deal with the ranch and some other things, and I’d like Emma to come with me. But it’s not permanent, and we don’t need to leave anytime soon,” Jensen said, nodding at Emma in reassurance when he saw her smile drop and her face pale.

“Look,” Jared said after a minute of tense silence, “we’re not going to do anything that you two don’t agree with. We have options, okay? We want you to be happy.”

“And what about your happiness, dads?” Lia asked quietly, looking back and forth between Jared and Jensen. Jensen swallowed thickly as emotions rose to the surface unfiltered. Jensen reached blindly towards Jared and connected with Jared’s hand. He squeezed lightly once but didn’t let go.

“We’re working on it,” he said.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_October 24 th   
Paris, France_

Jared huddled over the toilet as he retched up his meager dinner of half a bowl of soup and a small piece of bread. He groaned in frustration as his stomach emptied yet his body continued to dry heave. He sensed a presence behind him and a few seconds later, Jensen’s was rubbing soft circles on his back.

“Fuckin’ bullshit,” Jared groused, falling back onto his ass when his gagging finally tapered off.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Jensen murmured, like Jared being sick was his fault. Well, maybe it was, but only a little bit, and indirectly at that.

Mostly Jared was just overworked and stressed, though part of that stress had to do with Jensen leaving in a few hours to go back to the U.S. with Emma. He knew they wouldn’t be gone more than a month or two—Jensen swore that, regardless of how long it took to find someone to manage the ranch, they’d be back in Paris before Christmas.

Still, the thought of being without half his family had his stomach fluttering constantly, and not in the happy butterflies way. He couldn’t believe that, after spending less than two months with Jensen and Emma, Jared couldn’t imagine his life without them.

Hell, maybe it wasn’t that surprising. Emma was one of his daughters and Jensen had always been Jared’s first and only love.

So yes, the prospect of them leaving was potentially to blame for him rushing to the toilet multiple times a day.

Plus, he’d just finished the most intense month of work, with Paris, New York, and London Fashion Weeks rolling out one after another. And that shit that went down with Mateo and the aftermath, everything from giving statements to the police to…well. Basically, it blew. And on top of all that, Jared had contracted some kind of stomach bug; it wasn’t too surprising that he was starting to feel his skinny jeans get a little baggy. And _Jensen_ had definitely noticed; he’d noticed before even Jared had, had spent the last six days especially mother-henning Jared almost to death.

Although Jared would be hard-pressed to say that Jensen’s hand on his back didn’t feel absolutely amazing right now, calming and grounding him and allowing him to catch his breath and head off any lingering nausea.

“Here, drink a little,” Jensen said, handing Jared a plastic cup full of water that had been a permanent fixture by the bathroom sink for the last week. “Small sips,” he reminded Jared just before Jared was about to chug it, and no doubt cause another round of vomiting.

“Thanks,” Jared rasped. He closed his eyes and a moment later, Jensen laid a cool washcloth across Jared’s forehead. He sighed in relief as his headache instantly abated and his nausea disappeared almost as quickly as it came.

“I think you should see a doctor, Jay,” Jensen said.

“I just need to get some sleep. I’ve been pulling eighteen-hour days for the last month straight,” Jared argued. Jensen exhaled forcefully but clearly didn’t want to push this issue at three a.m. while they were sitting on the bathroom floor.

“I hate to leave you when you’re feeling like this,” he said instead. His voice was gentle but eager, and Jared knew Jensen really _did_ hate to leave him like this.

“I told you, Jen. I’ll be fine in a couple of days.”

“I could postpone the trip.”

“You already bought the tickets, and I know they weren’t exactly cheap. Plus you have meetings scheduled and…and shit.”

“Yeah. And shit,” Jensen chuckled.

“Exactly! Really, Jen. I think it’ll take a load off of both of us once you get the ranch taken care of.”

They had spent a long time talking about where they would go from here. They knew they couldn’t keep the girls apart anymore—didn’t want to do that to them—and though it was never explicitly stated by either Jared or Jensen, they both knew that they didn’t want to be apart from _each other_ anymore, either.

Still, old issues reared their heads. Due to the nature of Jared’s work, he couldn’t exactly spend most of his time in a Kansas town with a population of less than two thousand, and where the next closest town was over an hour’s drive away. But Jensen still couldn’t stand the idea of selling the ranch. It was obvious to Jared that Jensen didn’t crave living there, but the land and the house couldn’t just sit unused for eleven months out of the year. Plus, Jensen needed some source of income.

They’d finally decided on looking into Jensen leasing out the ranchland and hiring a caretaker to come by the house once or twice a month. That way Jensen could bring in money from the lease but they could still go stay at the house whenever the need for something slower and more lowkey hit.

But Jensen really needed to go back to get all that set up, and Jared knew that it would take longer than a weekend. It sucked, and Jared was just trying to focus on having Jensen back. Well, when his thoughts weren’t consumed with all the damn vomiting he’d been doing lately.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jensen hiked his bag up back over his shoulder and gave Lia another tight hug.

“I’ll miss you, squirt.”

“Just get back here as soon as you can,” she said, stepping back and offering him a watery smile. She then turned to Emma and they began whispering anxiously to one another. Jensen rolled his eyes fondly before bringing his gaze to the other person he dreaded leaving.

Jared still looked a little green around the gills, even though he’d managed to choke down two pieces of toast and half a mug of coffee this morning.

“Hey,” Jensen said softly, stepping closer, wanting this to be just for them. “I’ll be back before you know it.” Jared sniffed loudly and he rubbed at red-rimmed eyes. Jensen didn’t know if they were puffy from being up sick half the night or for having to say goodbye. Probably both.

Jared dropped his hand and smiled, but it was shaky. “You better.” Jensen leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed Jared tenderly on his cheek.

It was more intimacy than they’d displayed since that first night, and Jensen kind of hated that it’d be another month or two before he could properly kiss Jared again. Hell, he should have done it earlier, should have done it _weeks_ before today, but everything happened and Jared was scared and then Jensen was scared and now…

Now, it wasn’t the right time. Here, in the airport surrounded by hundreds of strangers. It was weird, maybe, but Jensen just felt like Jared deserved so much more than that.

Still, he placed a second kiss on Jared’s cheek, right at the corner of his lips this time, and lingered there for a few extra moments.

“I’ll miss you like crazy,” he admitted in a whisper.

“I’ll fly over there and drag you back myself if you wait too long,” Jared returned, voice just as soft. This time when he smiled, it was still small, just a curve of lips, but the yearning that showed through looked less like desperation and a lot more like hope.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_November 21 st   
Paris, France_

Jensen would kick his ass if he knew Jared had waited so long to do something about this (apparently _not_ ) flu he was still struggling with. He’d kick his ass even further if he knew that Jared was chickening out of going to the doctor, and instead just going to the pharmacy to pick up some over-the-counter meds to help with the nausea and sleep problem. But Jensen wasn’t here, so…

Jared shook that thought from his mind. He didn’t need to add being melancholy and feeling sorry for himself on top of everything else.

So here Jared was, standing in line at the 24-hour pharmacy a few blocks from his apartment, waiting to talk to a pharmacist.

There were certain aspects to living in France that Jared didn’t think he’d ever get used to. One of those was the fact that he couldn’t just roll into a Walmart or CVS and pick out his own goddamn cold meds. No, he had to talk to a pharmacist, explain his symptoms, and then _they_ would choose something for him. Fuck, Jared was an adult! And he was in a very bad mood, and the last thing he wanted to do was explain to a stranger how shitty he’d been feeling for a whole month now.

Finally, he got to the front of the line, and after a brief hello, he described his symptoms.

“ _Bad nausea, can’t sleep, I’ve been stressed with work so I think it’s just a lingering cold or flu_ ,” he explained in French. He just wanted to get his Nyquil and Pepto-Bismol (or the French version) and to be on his way. Sometimes he really missed the American pharmaceutical industry.

The pharmacist nodded and walked away, returning quickly with one bottle and two boxes.

“ _For the nausea_ ,” she said, handing over the bottle, “ _and the sleep_ ,” she said as she handed him a box of what looked like, yep, fake Nyquil caplets. “ _And just in case…_ ” she nudged the second box over, and Jared took a long look at the picture on the front.

“A…a _pregnancy_ test?” he said breathlessly, unbelievably. “but I haven’t…” he trailed off, and then the first night that Jensen had been here and they’d gotten drunk down by the Seine popped into his head. “Oh, fuck,” he sighed with resignation. The pharmacist smirked at him slightly, but there was warmth to it and Jared just rolled his eyes and uttered a thanks before practically tripping over his feet in his haste to get to the checkout counter.

When Jared got home, he tossed the brown paper bag onto the table and headed for the kitchen to make hot chocolate from scratch. He needed a distraction, but he was feeling too sick (yet again) to really eat anything. He would kill for a latte, but until he knew for sure if he was…fuck, _pregnant_ , then he needed to stay away from that kind of caffeine.

It was getting late, Lia had gone out with some school friends but he’d asked her to be home before midnight on the weekends. He was focused on the full pot on the stove, keeping it from boiling over and getting ruined when the front door opened.

“Dad?”

“In here,” he called back, and Lia appeared around the corner.

“Ooh, did you get some candy?” she asked, grabbing the back on the table, turning it upside, down and sending its contents spilling out.

“Lia, wait!” Jared called, but it was too late.

“Um…dad? Is that—”

“No! Yes! I don’t—I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Maybe? You are _maybe_ pregnant?! _Dad_! Holy crap, dad! You gotta call Jen, like, _right now_!”

“Lia, calm down, please. I’m not going to call Jensen until I know for sure.”

“Well then go take the test already!” Lia said, pushing the box into Jared’s hands and then pulling him out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom. It was cute, watching his 13-year-old daughter try to physically move him, but he conceded.

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled. “Watch the cocoa. It should be done in a minute.”

“I got it, dad,” Lia huffed in exasperation. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you might have another baby! This is…this is…crap, I gotta call Em!”

“Lia! Please, wait until we know for sure. And…you’re not mad?”

“Hell no! I mean, I’m mad that Emma and Jen aren’t here right now but…geez, you’re killing me! Go already!”

“All right, I’m going!” Jared chuckled.

He shuffled into the bathroom and slid the lock shut. Putting the unopened box down on the counter, he turned to the mirror and studied his reflection. He turned side to side, looking closely at first his face and then pulling his sweater up and studying his midsection. Did he look a little puffier? Was that a little bump that he was seeing?

He snorted and dropped his shirt down. He wasn’t pregnant, just sick, and the test would prove that in just three to five minutes.

He opened the box and pulled out the plastic-wrapped stick that was about to get peed on. He made quick work of it, and once he was done he capped the stick and laid it flat on the counter. He checked his phone, setting a timer for three minutes, then began to pace.

 _Just sick, I’m just sick, that’s all_ , he repeated to himself. What felt like both three seconds and three hours later, the timer sounded, and he took a deep breath before looking down at the test.

Fuck.

It was positive.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_November 26 th  
Council Grove, Kansas_

Jensen cursed when he stepped outside and saw the thick layer of frost on his truck. He’d only been at the local library a few hours, and when he’d gone inside his windows had been clear.

“Great,” he muttered unlocking the door and digging his fingers into the groove to pry it open. He looked up and spotted Emma walking out the door with a bag of books over one shoulder. “Hey,” he called out to her, “might as well go back in. It’s gonna take a few minutes for me to get this all scraped off.”

It looked like she was about to say something, but there was a sudden biting wind and she shivered violently.

“Yeah, okay,” she conceded, and headed back inside. Jensen zipped his coat up all the way and threw the hood over his head, then dug through the cab of his truck for his heavy-duty ice scraper.

“This _sucks_ ,” he groaned to no one, turning the key in the ignition and putting the defrost on high. He slammed the door shut and went to work on the window. “Haven’t heard from Jared in a fucking week,” he muttered under his breath as he scraped harder, taking his frustration out on the ice. “Can’t get him to pick up the damn phone. Dammit dammit _dammit_!” he cursed as the scraper slipped harmlessly along the top of the frost layer.

His hand dropped and he swayed forward, bumping his forehead on the icy glass before opening the car door and sliding inside. It was Thanksgiving tomorrow, and his life felt like a tornado-made mess spread across two continents, and right now he just did _not_ have the energy to scrape his fucking windows clear.

He jammed his hands into his pockets and tipped his head back, closing his eyes and trying to get his emotions under control. He tried that Lamaze breathing (and he’d die first before admitting to Jared that he used birthing breathing techniques; Jared would never let him live it down) and was just starting to calm down when his phone rang shrilly in the silence.

“God fucking dammit,” he hissed, grabbing his cell and answering without checking the caller ID first. “What?” he grumbled, not attempting to conceal his current general annoyance with life.

“Um. Jen?”

“Lia! Hey, baby girl. How are you?” Jensen said, his head popping up off the headrest as his mood improved instantaneously.

“Oh, you know,” she answered, trying and failing to sound calm and casual. “Hey, any chance you’re gonna be home soon?”

“Home like…?”

“Like, the ranch,” Lia clarified. Okay, Jensen was still confused; he wasn’t sure why it would matter if he was at the ranch or not to his daughter who was all the way across the Atlantic.

“Um, yeah, soon. Em and I stopped by the library, pretty much nothing is open in a small town during a holiday weekend so we stocked up on books and movies. I’m just waiting ‘til my windshield defrosts. Why?”

“’Cause it’s fucking freezing—”

“Language, Lia!” Jensen heard Jared interrupt from the background.

“Sorry, it’s _freaking_ freezing out here,” Jensen could practically hear Lia’s eyeroll through the phone line, “and dad couldn’t find your spare key.”

“What. Wait, _what_?” he asked when her words finally registered.

“Dad! Just come home!” Lia huffed, her teeth starting to chatter.

“You’re—oh god, you’re at the ranch?” Jensen heard scuffling and Jared groaning miserably before his voice came through clearly.

“Jen, get your ass back here right now. I’ve already had to puke in your rose bushes, don’t make me defile the cattle trough!” Jared said, low and threatening. Jensen felt his cheeks tighten with a grin.

“Oh man, baby, you’re still sick?” he asked, his concern at strange odds with the excitement in his tone at discovering Jared and Lia were at his house.

“Jensen!”

“Sorry, sorry! Okay, give me ten minutes.”

“Make it five,” Jared growled, and the line went dead.

Well, at least his truck was starting to heat up and the defroster was working its magic on the windshield. He was about to get out and run inside to get Emma when she came barreling out the front doors of the library, phone clutched between her ear and shoulder and a blinding smile on her face.

“Dad, Lia and Jay are here! Let’s go already!” she cried, jumping into the cab and haphazardly tossing the bag into the small backseat area. Jensen didn’t need to be told twice

With a quick flick of his wrist, the wipers started up and swept away three quarters of the blasted ice. He reversed out of the parking spot, looking around at the empty streets. Between the holiday and the not-so-freak ice storm (that was Kansas weather at its finest), he wasn’t surprised that he saw no other cars on the road. The empty lanes and his truck’s 4-wheel drive made quick work of the mile between downtown Council Grove and the ranch, and he was pulling up the lane and into the garage with thirty seconds to spare.

Jensen was out of the truck in seconds, Emma hot on his heels as they exited the garage and booked it up to the front porch where Jared and Lia were waiting. Emma grabbed Lia in a hug, and Jensen was about to do the same with Jared when he was stopped dead in his tracks.

“What the _fuck_?” he said in shock. Jared was standing before him, hands stuffed into his jean pockets and shivering in his lightweight leather jacket. The jacket was unzipped, which gave Jensen a perfect view of—

“The weather reports said it was still in the mid-fifties,” Jared chattered, trying to explain away his inadequate wardrobe choices.

“Yeah, it was yesterday,” Jensen said, trying to pick his jaw up off the porch floor because Jared’s outfit _so_ wasn’t what Jensen was freaking out about right now. “That’s not—um. Jay. _What is that_?” Jensen asked, pointing towards Jared’s belly, where a small but noticeable bump was popping out the front of his gray sweater.

“Oh right. Um. We should probably learn how to use condoms,” Jared said, his expression an obvious mix of fear and hope. His left hand kept jumping up to run fingers through his hear, betraying his nerves, but there was a hint of a smile there, too.

“Holy shit. You’re pregnant?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet’s been beyond shitty lately, so I haven’t gotten a chance to respond to any comments. I will as soon as I get over to the library or something and can get a connection for longer than thirty seconds. I am still reading all of your comments and really appreciate every single one!


	5. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so...
> 
> I'm sorry that I haven't updated in over a month and that this chapter is so short. Right after I posted chapter 4 and decided to draw this story out a little farther, a lot of crazy shit happened and yeah. Fun times. And then I completely forgot all the ideas I had. So yeah. Life sucks, blah blah blah. It happens.
> 
> Anyways, I think there will just be one more chapter and then either an epilogue or a little timestamp. I do have some of the next chapter written, I was going to make it part of this chapter but I didn't want to end on a cliffhanger. So instead, here's a little bit of schmoop for you.

_January 2 nd   
Waimanalo, Oahu, Hawaii_

Every winter when mid-December rolled around, tourists would start pouring into Paris. Well, there were _always_ tourists in Paris, but the crowds grew exponentially with the draw of experiencing the whole cliché Christmas in Paris thing.

Jared had spent the last twelve years of his life doing the Christmas in Paris thing, and frankly, it was bit overrated. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud; he didn’t fancy being tarred and stoned for going against tradition. Or whatever. But year after year, the magic of it all had started to fade. Maybe it was seeing star-crossed lovers scratching their initials onto metal locks then chaining them onto the Pont d’Arts over the Seine that just made him acutely aware that his own love was thousands of miles away. And didn’t want him.

Or, that’s how it _had_ been. Until now.

Spending Christmas in Hawaii with not one but both of his daughters _and_ Jensen was a like a dream come fucking true. Actually, it was better, because he’d never let himself dream that he could have this. It had hurt too damn much to think about. But now…

Now, life was good. Even if his four-month pregnant belly kept him watching jealously from the bottom of a waterfall as Lia and Emma and Jensen took turns jumping from the top and landing in the pool below, sending bigger and bigger splashwaves towards him each time.

“ _Jeeeennnn_ ,” Jared whined as his baby daddy swam up behind him and wrapped him in a hug. (Jensen was relegated to ‘baby daddy’ whenever said baby was practicing soccer using Jared’s kidneys as the ball or lounging against his bladder or keeping him from jumping off Hawaiian waterfalls.)

“ _Jaaaaaay_ ,” Jensen echoed, ruining it with a smile. Screw him, his abs were still washboard-flat. Maybe Jared was a little bitter. Jensen got his hands on Jared, first rubbing his shoulders then massaging his way down to Jared’s lower back, and Jared’s bitterness evaporated.

“Mmm, that feels good,” he moaned lowly. Jensen’s hands slipped around his hips to cup his baby bump, his fingers drifting underneath the waistband of Jared’s swim trunks. “Fuck,” he hissed as his cock plumped up.

“Feeling better?” Jensen asked, nosing at Jared’s ear. His hot breath tickled, and Jared squirmed against Jensen’s hard, wet body.

“This is inappropriate,” he murmured without any real conviction.

“I know,” Jensen replied, sighing in obvious frustration. His fingertips pressed into Jared’s skin once, twice, three times, and then his hands disappeared. Jared huffed in disappointment.

Even if they hadn’t been ten feet away from their daughters, he knew Jensen wouldn’t have taken it any farther. Quick pecks and chaste kisses were all Jared had managed to wring out of Jensen ever since that mess with Mateo had gone down. And yes, Jared sincerely appreciated Jensen’s compassion and reluctance to push him (and it would probably be a long while before Jared could manage to give a blow job again), but…

Well, he was fucking _horny_! He’d just entered his fifth month of pregnancy; his morning sickness had finally abated, and his sexual appetite had swelled to truly outlandish heights. If he masturbated much more, he was worried he’d rub the skin of his right hand raw.

Jared sucked in a deep breath, then released his frustration on the exhale. Jensen noticed, his expression morphing from apologetic to concerned.

“You okay? What’s wrong?”

“Yeah, no, it’s noth—” Jared gasped sharply as a little foot connected forcefully with the inside of his belly. “Holy, shit! Jensen!” Eyes wide, he grabbed for Jensen’s hands and placed them over his stomach. It only took a moment until the baby was kicking again. It felt like the baby was playing soccer with Jared’s insides, but it was totally worth it for the look on Jensen’s face.

Jared had been able to feel soft flutters inside him for a few weeks, but this was the first time Jensen was getting to experience their child’s movement for himself.

“Oh my god,” he whispered reverently. He blinked slowly up at Jared, eyes big and round and full of wonder. “Jare…”

“Yeah, Jens. I know.” Jared swam forward, closing the few inches between them until his belly was pressed up against Jensen’s abs. Jensen immediately moved his arms around Jared’s waist, and Jared wrapped his legs around Jensen’s hips and his arms around his neck.

Hawaii was beautiful; the small cove full of crystal-blue water and the waterfall splashed down playfully beside them, and their daughter’s shrieks of laughter and joy were better than any background music. And still, Jared couldn’t take his eyes off of Jensen.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

That night they crawled into bed in their room at the little B&B after saying goodnight to Lia and Emma one door down. Without even asking—because _finally_ he’d figured it out—Jensen peeled Jared’s boxers down and off and wrapped his sinful lips around his cock. Jared came embarrassingly fast, but that was okay; Jensen made him come three more times before the night was over.

After, as he laid with his head pillowed on Jensen’s chest, Jared began to cry. It was definitely his hormones’ fault, making him not only horny but exceedingly emotional at the most random moments.

Okay, maybe this moment wasn’t so random.

Jared thought he’d get away with it without Jensen noticing; he was good at silent crying and keeping his breathing even, but he forgot that crying also meant tears (Jared would forever blame baby brain) and he was currently using Jensen’s body at his pillow. As the first tears spilled down his cheeks and onto Jensen’s skin, Jensen wrapped his arms more tightly around Jared.

“Jay?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep and confusion. Jared let out the softest of sobs, but that was more than enough to spur Jensen into action. “Jared! Hey, baby, look at me. Jay, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?  Did I…oh god. Jared…” Jensen’s voice was more than distressed as he pulled Jared up so that he could see his face.

And Jared knew exactly where Jensen’s train of thought was headed, and he needed to shut that down right the fuck now.

“N-no, it’s not…that,” he said between sniffles. “God, Jen, I definitely wanted this. It’s…fucking hormones!” he cried out, letting out choked-off half sob, half laugh. At that, Jensen stopped his freakout and his worry faded a little.

“Aw, Jay, baby,” he said, trying to hold back a smile.

“I cried during a soup commercial the other day,” Jared pouted. Tears were still leaking out of his eyes, but he felt the tenuous control over his rapidly shifting emotions start to strengthen.

“Aw, babe,” Jensen said again, this time a small chuckle escaping along with it.

“This was the best New Year’s I’ve ever had,” Jared admitted. Jensen just looked at him fondly, quiet as his gaze swept across Jared’s face. His soft fingers wiped at Jared’s wet cheeks before moving to push a lock of hair back from his face.

“I know,” Jensen said, his words heavy with understanding. “I know.”


	6. Ennui

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, it's been awhile. Sorry about that. I feel like my writing is really shitty right now, like there's not enough dialogue (or sometimes too much) or my metaphors are lame as fuck or I wanted this chapter to be three times as long.
> 
> Anyways, there will be one more chapter and a short epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me!

_March 16 th   
Paris, France_

Jensen had ridden the high of their Hawaiian vacation through January into February and all the way to Valentine’s Day. It was the first time in fourteen years that he’d celebrated the holiday with a glass of wine and a candlelit dinner, as opposed to a bottle of whiskey and an action movie blaring loud in a poor attempt to distract him from him sadness. But his sadness was gone, because Jared was finally in his life again.

The only New Year’s resolution Jensen made was to be the best father and partner that he could be. It was just…

Well, it was hard. The problem wasn’t the _people_ —his love for Emma and Lia, and Jared and their unborn child felt like it was overflowing and drowning him in the best way possible. No, the problem was everything else.

The problem was Paris.

The problem was Jensen himself.

By the middle of March, Jensen was struggling to get up in the mornings. He wasn’t depressed in a clinical sense, he just felt lonely, which was impressive considering he was living in a city of two million people and sharing an 800 square foot apartment with two teenaged daughters and one very pregnant boyfriend.

Paris didn’t feel like home; Jared felt like home, yes, but the moment Jensen stepped outside the apartment building, he wanted to crawl right back inside. Paris was crowded, somehow even worse than New York (although the Metro ran a lot smoother than the subway system). And everyone was out during the day trying to get shit done because pretty much everything except restaurants closed by eight or nine in the evening. Even running basic errands was a fucking _saga_ , and that was before taking into account the language barrier. Sure, Paris would never be classified as one of the hardest cities to get around in if one didn’t know the native language, but being two-week tourist was a hell of a lot different than fucking _living_ there.

Jensen missed driving his truck—and not in some macho, prove his male virility way; he just missed being able walk outside his home, hop in his truck, and drive directly to wherever he needed to go. He missed not having to share his personal space with dozens of other people on trip to and from said location. Fuck, he missed listening to the damn radio! He missed being able to grocery shop at midnight to avoid the crowds. He missed being able to buy cold medicine at the store without having to speak to a pharmacist first. It was just cold medicine, for fuck’s sake!

So Jensen was dealing with an uncomfortably unfamiliar environment, and at the same time he was also dealing with losing all sense of vocational direction. Not that his dream job had ever been running a ranch in the boonies of Kansas, but still. It was something to do.

Renting out his land gave him a small but steady income, so it wasn’t finances that worried him. After all, Jared has his blog (that made surprising bank; Jensen was genuinely impressed the first time Jared had showed him the books), and Emma had been welcomed into Lia’s circle of friends with open arms. Although their daughters went to different schools—Jared had found an English-speaking school for Emma to attend—they spent every other waking (and non-waking) moment together.

Jensen was adrift; he no longer had the excuse of taking care of his grandpa’s ranch that he’d been using the last fourteen years to hide from the world. He hadn’t picked up a paintbrush in that same amount of time, and he’d begun to convince himself that his inaction had caused him to squander whatever talent he’d been given originally.

Many people would have viewed this as a fresh start, a chance to take on a new challenge, to find a new passion. Jensen just felt like he was choking on fucking _ennui_.

He had no idea how to talk to Jared about these issues—Jared, who was beautiful and vibrant and pregnant and so damn _happy_ finally, and Jensen couldn’t be the one to spoil it. So he continued to bottle his emotions, ignoring the feeling bubbling up in the pit of his stomach that he was a well-shaken can of soda and sooner or later, someone or something would crack him open and he was undoubtedly going to explode.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_March 31 st   
Paris, France_

Jared shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable with his belly. He was close to hitting eight months and sitting in his desk chair to edit photos for hours on end every day was getting less and less comfortable. He was struggling to push himself up off the chair because he had to pee—fourth time in less than an hour, being pregnant was _awesome_ —when the front door slammed open and an obviously frustrated Jensen stormed in.

Jared was halfway to his detour to the living room when he froze, trying to make out the words to Jensen’s mumbled ranting.

“…fucking crazy…Jesus Christ…can’t fucking breathe…everywhere…”

Well, that wasn’t helping much. Jared took a deep breath and waddled slowly into the room just in time to see Jensen fling a couple of canvas shopping bags onto one of the armchairs before faceplanting on the couch and letting out a muffled scream into Jared’s favorite throw pillow.

“Jen?” Jared said carefully. “Everything okay?” Jensen’s grunt was so soft that it took a few seconds for Jared to realize that that was all he was getting for an answer. “Whatever,” he muttered back, really not in the mood to deal with one of Jensen’s ever-increasing mood swings.

It was like the time between their family vacation to Hawaii and Valentine’s Day had been the plateaued top of some sort of relationship bell curve, and they were now hurtling down the far slope. Jared had the sinking feeling that, any day now, they were going to crash.

So he just turned and made his way slowly to the kitchen, filling a glass with ice water and chugging it down before filling it up again and returning to his office. So what if he’d have to just get up again in five minutes to pee? So what if the growing tension between him and Jensen was strung so tight that he was sure it was about to snap? So what if he could no longer keep his crazy pregnancy brain from imagining all the horrible ways that Jensen was bound to leave him?

So the fuck what?

So what if—

 _Fuck_.

Pain shot its way across Jared’s abdomen, and he curled forward, stumbling blindly for a few steps before his should connected hard with the wall. Just as the pain began to recede, another lance struck through him, and the glass of water slipped from his hand. The sound sound it made when it smashed against the hardwood floor felt like a dull, distant background noise to the buzzing in his ears caused by the pain jolting sudden and relentless through his body.

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to scream Jensen’s name, but before any sound could come out, there were hands on his shoulders keeping him from collapsing and Jensen’s voice was quiet in his ear.

“It’s okay, Jay. I’m right here. It’s okay, baby. C’mon, Jared, we gotta get you to a chair. You’re okay sweetheart, you’re okay. Fuck, Jared. Hey, look at me. Come on, focus on my voice, I’m right here.” And Jared tried, he really did, but his eyes felt a little glazed over and his whole body felt like it was on fire.

He felt himself be swept up into Jensen’s arms, and he had two brief seconds to wonder how the hell Jensen was able to carry his entire pregnant weight before the sheer force of the pain caused everything to white out.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Jensen paced back and forth, the busy hospital waiting room only adding to his rapidly increasing agitation.

He couldn’t understand what any of the nurses tried to tell him—and okay, yes, the fact that he was erratically on edge did not help smooth things over with the whole language barrier thing—and no doctor had come out yet to give him an update on Jared.

And all that was just since he’d been at the hospital.

There was also the infuriating phone call to 911. Of course, Jensen had dialed “911” like six fucking times and kept getting weird noises before he’d remembered that 911 in France wasn’t actually, well, _fucking 911_. It was 112.

The emergency services operator had spoken decent English, but Jensen had been panicking and it had been hard to understand her with her heavy accent over the phone.

But before he’d even gotten to that point, Jared had fainted while in Jensen’s arms. Which would maybe sound romantic in a fairy tale or some shitty Nicolas Sparks book, but Jared was almost six and a half feet tall and nearly eight months pregnant and Jensen’s arms were—quite literally—full, so that his phone was laughably out of reach even though it had been right there in his front pocket. But he’d been terrified of moving Jared.

No, he’d been terrified of _letting go_ of Jared.

After all, Jensen kind of felt like this was all his fault.

He ran his fingers through his hair, stopping to tug violently at the strands. It was either that or start sobbing in paralyzing fear that something serious, something…permanent had happened to Jared. Or, oh god, their baby.

Just then, Emma and Lia burst through the ER doors like a whirlwind of absolution.

“Dad!” they both called out together, voices so alike Jensen could barely tell there were two. They surrounded him in a hug, and somewhere in the pathetically small portion of Jensen’s brain that was still working, he realized that _he_ was the parent here and _he_ should be comforting _them_.

But Jared was hurt in some still-unknown way, and he was pregnant and _fuck_. Jensen was _terrified_. So instead, he wrapped his arms around his daughters and mouthed a silent prayer to whatever deity might be feeling sympathetic that day that the next time there was need for a family hug, it would be all five of them.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_April 3 rd   
Paris, France_

The newest addition to their family was born at 12:35 in the morning on April 1st. Preeclampsia caused placental abruption, and an emergency C-section was performed.

It’d been two days, twelve hours, twenty-one minutes, and Jensen still hadn’t named their new daughter.

It’d been two days, twelve hours, twenty-two minutes, and Jared still hadn’t woken up.


	7. We Are Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took me so long to update. Honestly, I started to doubt myself and where I'd gone with the story, feeling like it'd kind of gone off the rails (I wasn't meaning to make it so angsty, tbh) and that doubt just killed my motivation and I couldn't figure out where to take the story next. I still feel like it's missing something, but maybe I'm being completely crazy and hopefully you all will love it. There's still one chapter after this one, though, and I'm already working on it.

_April 4 th   
Paris, France_

Jared felt like his head had been stuffed full of cotton. His thoughts were moving sluggishly and his body ached. Voices filtered in slowly through the fog in his head, not making much sense, but the familiar sounds offered him a sort of comfort he couldn’t quite explain.

He lingered in this half-conscious state for minutes or maybe hours, until he was finally able to fully open his eyes. He blinked a few times, trying to clear the haze, and the sight that greeted him made his heart stutter.

Lia and Emma were sitting on either side of Jensen, both of them slumped against his sides. His arms were wrapped around them and they were all passed out with obvious exhaustion. It would have been adorable—the kind of thing that made Jared’s hand twitch for his camera to snap a good twenty photos—but even in sleep, Jared could see the worry etched into the lines of Jensen’s face and the identical frowns the twins had.

Jared looked around as much as his stiff neck would allow, and it was immediately obvious that he was in the hospital. The events of that afternoon came rushing back; the stabbing pain, nearly collapsing onto the floor but falling into Jensen’s arms instead, blacking out…

 _Fuck_.

Instinct and terror had him reaching down to cradle his belly only to find his stomach deflated and tender.

“No!” he choked, fingers digging into his skin that should have been protecting his baby. “No no no!” His breaths shortened in a panic and the machine beeping next to his bed picked up speed.

And suddenly Jensen was awake and up out of the chair like a gunshot, falling to his knees beside Jared’s bed and gripping Jared’s hands, trying to stop them from clawing at his stomach.

“Jay! Jared! Wha-- baby, calm down! Hey, you’re okay, you’re okay,” Jensen spoke softly, his warm hands covering Jared’s and stilling them.

“B-baby,” Jared stuttered out between sobs.

“What? I’m here, Jay,” Jensen answered.

“No. _Baby_.” Jared tried again, and finally realization dawned on Jensen and the worry in his expression faded instantly. He bent down, kissing the tears from Jared’s cheeks then pressing their foreheads together.

“She’s okay, Jared. She made it, you both made it. She’s tiny and beautiful and she’s gonna be okay.”

“Sh-she?” Jared asked, his horror abating as Jensen’s words of assurance finally penetrated his fog of fear.

“Yeah, sweetheart. We have a little girl.”

Jared gripped Jensen’s hands tightly and felt a grin splitting his face. “Another girl, Jen,” he whispered.

“Yeah, baby. We’re outnumbered now,” Jensen said, his beaming smile telling Jared that he was perfectly okay with this fact. He bent down and kissed Jared’s lips then forehead just as two nurses came rushing into the room.

“I want to see our baby now.” Jared had to hold himself back from begging, but he knew that he was totally transparent to Jensen. Instead of answering, however, Jensen just glanced at the nurses that were checking the readouts on the equipment surrounding Jared’s bed. “Jen…?”

“Jared? My name is Elodie,” said one of the nurses in heavily accented English. “Your daughter very much wants to meet you but she is very tiny right now. You were…nearly ten weeks early, yes? So she is in the, uh, intensive care unit at the moment. So you will have to go to her when you are a little stronger, okay?”

“God dammit, I’m _fine_!” Jared pushed the blankets down and tried to sit up but was cut short by a searing pain across his abdomen.

“Whoa, Jay! Slow down, babe—”

“ _No_ , Jensen. I want to see her!”

“ _Jared_. You just had major surgery and a blood transfusion and were basically _in a coma for two days_.” Jensen paused; closing his eyes, he exhaled sharply, and Jared caught a glimpse of all the anguish Jensen was obviously attempting to keep at bay. Still, Jared was overcome with the desperate need to see his baby. He opened his mouth to continue arguing when he was struck breathless, pinned by Jensen’s intensely pleading and pain-filled emerald eyes. “I thought that I was going to lose you. I thought I was going to lose her, too, at first. _Two days_ , Jared, I was fucking _terrified_. So _please_. Just…wait. Get some more rest, give your body a chance to heal a little bit.”

Jared huffed and slumped back against the bed. He wanted to argue, to beat his fists against the mattress and yell until he got his way. But he could already feel his eyelids drooping again with he fresh dose of morphine sweeping through his system.

Jensen leaned in close again and whispered a promise that Jared knew was meant for his ears only.

“I understand, Jared. I do. But I can’t…we can’t lose you, okay? We all need you. So we’ll go after you nap, yeah? And Jare, love…she’s doin’ okay, really. She’s tiny, yeah, but she’s perfect and I know that she can’t wait to meet her daddy.”

“Sap,” Jared mouthed, unable to get anything past the sudden lump in his throat.

“You love it,” Jensen replied with a lopsided quirk of his lips and a twinkling fondness in his eyes.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

Just as Jensen had suspected, Jared ended up falling asleep only a few minutes after calming down. Jensen remained seated on the edge of his bed, watching the creases on Jared’s face smooth out as his body relaxed with peaceful sleep. Sleep, Jensen had to remind himself over and over. He’s just sleeping now.

Jensen’s mind was a whirl of emotions, his muscles aching as his body attempted to release the tension that he’d been strung tight with the last few days.

Dragging his eyes away from Jared was a serious test of strength, but Jensen finally managed to get up and check on Emma and Lia. He was surprised that they’d slept through all the noise, especially Jared’s outburst. Then again, they had been keeping just as constant vigil over Jared as Jensen had been, barely getting any rest the last few days. All three of them had refused to leave Jared’s side for more than a few minutes at a time, and then it was just to take rushed showers or grab food from the hospital cafeteria that was usually left mostly uneaten.

Jensen debated waking them up, but eventually he decided to give them another hour or so of sleep. Jared wouldn’t wake up again before then, and Jensen hated to wake the girls up just to make them anxiously wait for hours until Jared woke again.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

“Hurry up, Jensen!” Jared wheedled breathlessly. He was twitching in wheelchair the nurse had brought in a few minutes after he’d woken up again, and now Jensen was wheeling him down the long hospital hallways, Lia and Emma chattering excitedly as they walked beside him.

“This ain’t the wheelchair derby, Jay,” Jensen replied, running his hand quickly through Jared’s hair. “Besides, we’re here,” he announced as they came to a stop outside a door proclaiming entrance was restricted to hospital staff only. But the door opened a moment later and a nurse Jared hadn’t seen before beckoned them into the room filled a dozen of what Jared could only describe as baby incubators. He figured that probably wasn’t the correct term for them, but just as he opened his mouth to ask what the little class boxes were called, his question died out as Jensen rolled him to a stop in front of one incubator that held a screaming baby.

“Say hello to your daughter, Jay,” Jensen whispered in his ear. Jared leaned forward over the glass, enthralled at the tiny human wailing away behind the barrier.

“Ici, voila,” said the nurse that had let them into the room as she demonstrated to Jared the special openings in the glass the would allow him to reach inside the incubator. He did so, movements slow and soft as he stroked his daughter’s cheek then chest then arm. As his finger reached her hand, her fingers gripped his lightly in the tiniest little fist he’d every seen.

Jared let out something halfway between a laugh and a sob.

“Did you name her?” he asked quietly.

“No, Jared, of course not. I was waiting until you woke up,” Jensen answered. Jared looked back over his shoulder and his heart shattered in the best way when he saw Jensen’s expression as he gazed down at their daughter.

“What about—“ Jared started to say, but was cut off as his daughter’s cries got even louder. “Is she okay?” he asked the nurse worriedly.

“She is, I promise,” the nurse said.

“Yeah, she’s been like this every time I’ve come by the last three days. She’s definitely got some pipes on her,” Jensen said with a chuckle.

“Pipes…” Jared repeated, looking back at their daughter. “Jensen, I think you just named her.”

“What?”

“Pipes. Piper?” Jared said, glancing back to gage Jensen’s reaction. A smile spread slowly as Jensen’s face lit up.

“Yeah? Piper? You sure, Jay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m positive,” Jared said with a laugh as Piper yelled even louder. Jared didn’t care, though. Her screams were music to his ears.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

_May 17 th  
Paris, France_

Jensen was just drifting off to sleep when he heard the unmistakable sound of the toilet flushing. He held his breath in hopeful anticipation that the sound wasn’t too loud, but a second later Piper’s crying rang throughout the bedroom. He let his breath out in rush, a defeated sigh sounding from Jared on the bed next to him. A few moments later, their bedroom door creaked open and Lia stuck her head in.

“I’m so sorry, I just…I had…”

“It’s okay, honey,” Jensen said. “You’re allowed to use the bathroom whenever you need to,” Jensen assured his daughter. She just frowned and chewed anxiously on her bottom lip, so Jensen heaved himself out of the bed and made his way over to Lia. He heard Jared get up as well, moving across the floorboards to the crib where Piper was making a fuss at being woken up.

“I’m serious, Lia,” Jensen said, leading her out into the hall and shutting the door quietly. “Piper’s fussy and she’s got colic and apparently really sensitive hearing. It’s not your fault, okay? I swear, half the time she wakes up from the freaking bed springs squeaking.”

“I know, I know,” Lia said, shaking her head as her frown deepened. “I just…god, dad, I’m sorry, but I’m just so tired!”

“I know, sweetie. C’mere.” Jensen pulled Lia into a hug and began rocking slowly side to side.

Piper had been home for almost two weeks and this was not the first time Jensen felt the strong jerk in his gut of guilt for how much Lia and Emma had been suffering. He knew they weren’t getting nearly enough attention, and their sleep was getting disrupted just as badly as his and Jared’s because of Piper. Unfortunately, as the doctor had informed them, there wasn’t any good reason for a baby to develop colic, and usually they just had to grow out of it.

Jensen glanced up and saw Emma peeking her head hesitantly out of her and Lia’s room, looking hair bed-messed and face drawn and pale with exhaustion in a way no almost-fourteen-year-old should ever have to look.

“Dad…” Emma whispered, and Jensen beckoned her over with one hand. She came immediately, falling into the hug already in progress with Lia.

“I’m so sorry,” Jensen said quietly. “Things’ll get better. I promise.” _Starting with your birthday_ , he added silently. The girls would be turning fourteen in six short days, and he knew that they deserved something extra special this year, and not just because of the maturity and patience they’d had with regards to their new little sister. It was everything that had happened the past year, and the fact that they’d never gotten mad at either Jensen or Jared about the whole twin-sister-they-didn’t-know-about situation, which Jensen still couldn’t believe sometimes. They’d taken everything that had been thrown at them this year in stride, and they’d come out the other side stronger and kinder and even more beautiful, both inside and out.

And yes, maybe Jensen hadn’t slept more than three hours at a time in the last two weeks, and maybe that was making him overly-sentimental, but whatever. He had the best family in the world, the best daughters in the world, and he wanted to make sure they would never doubt that love.


End file.
